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Forged By Fire

What words are there left to say
When you've said all you can
How can you encourage others
If you're sinking in quicksand

What can you do to lift others up
If you're depressed beyond messure
How do you impress everyone else if
You're still looking for buried treasure

You can't always be the champion
There'll be days you are going to fall
Every now and again a time will come
When you won't get to answer the call

But even then, when life seems hopeless
When no one is around to cheer you on
That is the moment integrity is defined
Character is shown when glamor is gone

When your universe crumbles in pieces
Or when the walls seem to be closing in
Grit your teeth and keep your aim locked
Keep your eyes where they've always been

If your world falls from underneath you
In that moment when you wonder why
Hold onto your dream with all you have
You can get up if you can look up at the sky

You may bend, but never let yourself break
If you overcome your mountain, go higher
Champions aren't created by a gentle breeze
Like a rod of steel, winners are forged by fire

© Shelby Pryor

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Forged By Fire" presents a strong narrative about resilience and integrity in the face of adversity. It uses a variety of metaphors and similes to convey its message, which adds depth and complexity to the narrative.

However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. The rhythm and meter of the poem are inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. For instance, the second line of the first stanza has one fewer syllable than the other lines, which breaks the rhythm. The poet could consider revising the poem to have a more consistent meter.

Additionally, the poem uses a lot of abstract language and clichés, such as "sinking in quicksand", "depressed beyond measure", and "your world falls from underneath you". While these phrases can be effective in moderation, overuse can make the poem feel less original. The poet could consider using more concrete and specific imagery to convey the same ideas.

The poem also tends to tell the reader how to feel and what to think, rather than showing them through imagery and metaphor. For example, the line "Character is shown when glamor is gone" tells the reader directly what the poet thinks about character. The poet could consider revising this line to show the reader what character looks like when glamour is gone, rather than telling them.

Finally, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of its themes. The poem presents a very black-and-white view of resilience and integrity, suggesting that one must always be strong and never give up. However, this view may not resonate with all readers, who may have more complex experiences with these themes. The poet could consider exploring these themes in a more nuanced way, acknowledging the complexities and contradictions that can exist within them.

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