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A firm fist

The firm fist of
at your door .

It’s heart
of rage
boldly bleeding
out into a
uproar .

Your soul
sinks deep
into it’s
tense trench
in silence.
As the world
violence .

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


That first stanza is fire. I love it.

Second I’d try:
It’s heart
of rage
leeching out
Into a
uproar .

And third:

Your soul
sinks slow
drenched in silence
as the world
reverts to

The “reverts back” was an extra syllable and revert means to go back so it was redundant anyway. Please consider my criticism lightly. I have my style and it’s not my intention to steer you away from yours. I do think that says the same thing a little tighter and maybe a bit more descriptive and less redundant.

Good job and nice idea!

Well I wrote this while have one of my many migraines While listening to Stephen Sondheim .
And I fixed it
Oh and thank you .

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

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