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Father

My Father was a good provider he did the best he could. I just wish he had spent more time
It would've been good.
I never really knew him the way I wanted to time slipped away too soon.
My Father liked to doodle I guess I got it from him.
He was funny and ran a jewelry store he sold gems.
The customers liked him because he was kind too bad he wasn't in my mind.
He hurt my Momma and made her cry so he lost my respect.
But I'm thankful for the good memories I have left.
Taking rides to Dairy Queen.
Taking me to swimming lessons.
Providing for me for eleven years.
Then I had tears because I thought I broke my parents a part. But it wasn't my fault, but it broke my heart.
Now they both are laid to rest.
I miss the love and times we spent.
Maybe someday I'll see him again when life is over and love is present again.
By Julie Norton
6/21/2022

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I love to write when I feel inspired. Thought I'd enter this contest for fun!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

your format could be a bit tighter, but your message comes clearly through. one thing for sure is that you loved both your mother and father! it is nice to meet you, Julie!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

You really had good words to extol your father's goodness.

Now coming to speak on your poem:

You need to adopt Poetic Devices!!!
Poetic devices are a form of a literary devices used in poetry. Poems are created out of poetic devices composite of: structural, grammatical, rhythmic, metrical, verbal and visual elements.
They are essential tools a poet uses to create rhythm, and enhance a poem's meaning or intensify mood or feeling.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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