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Ethereal Requiem

Your words were a warm embrace upon the soul
The one person who made me feel whole
Tears flow like the sea as I write this masterpiece
The sea which is your home, a place that you find release
For you swim through my mind, your smile present every time I blink
No matter how hard the armor against the world, you'd always find the chink
Opening my eyes to what I was blind
An equal to you I shall never find

Your heart and soul are as essential to me as life
Cursed are those who ever caused you strife
Near, far, wherever you are
You will always shine bright for you are a star
A beacon of hope that can eclipse the sun
My heart still cannot process that our saga is done
It refused to accept the sick reality in which we exist
Oh how I wish we could go back to the first moment which we kissed
If time would freeze then, my sorrows would melt
For I don't regret a single thing I've felt
I don't regret a single memory that was made
I shall always carry them in my heart and never let them fade

Your happiness brings me solace, no matter the source
We must walk forward Snow, even by force
For we shall meet again in another world

~AM~

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

first off...I like your poem very much! but I feel that your longer lines should be shortened. here is an example:

The sea which is your home,
a place that you find release
For you swim through my mind,
your smile present every time I blink
No matter how hard the armor against the world,
you'd always find the chink

do you see what I mean?

these are my favorite lines:
Your happiness brings me solace, no matter the source
We must walk forward Snow, even by force
For we shall meet again in another world

(is Snow a person?)

I lie the theme and the beginning are good.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I see what you’re saying with the long verses….I’m definitely gonna revise them and try to shorten them up a little bit. And Snow is a person, it’s the nickname that I gave to my ex girlfriend while we were together. So it was a subtle reference to her :’) Thank you for taking the time to read my work!! It means a lot to me ☺️

author comment

i could help you with your poem :) I look forward to reading more of your poetry! (I had a feeling that Snow was person of the female persuasion, lol)

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you so much for your support….I appreciate your kind words and honestly I was reading the threads and I admire your work also!! If you notice any sad romance poetry I post in the future….it’s about Snow :’’’) I guess it’s a way for me to try to move on….by expressing what I wish I could tell her in poetry form

author comment

You have a wonderful piece of work. You really scribbled emotive words. Thought gripping lines ! She must be a very wonderful lady by your side. This poetry is a tangible proof of a testament.

Beautifully crafted!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

I tried my best to paint a picture that was thought proving and engaging…..like as you will see a lot of my style relies on imagery and immersion. And I wish she was by my side….we broke up unfortunately because of family problems
:(

author comment

my husband Steven's sister, Wendy, was talking trash about me at our wedding (we had an outdoor service at our home) Wendy went to each little group of people and stirred them up with bad "tales" which she knew nothing about. we were later told by Steve's best man, what she had done. I thought he should confront his sister...he didn't and it almost broke us up. I advise, never let family get in the way. always talk things out. is there any way you can repair the lost relationship? I hope very much so.

Hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

That’s horrible!! They don’t have the right to run their mouths like that….especially during your wedding of all days. And no unfortunately because it’s a religion thing….I’m Muslim and she is Catholic. So I get my parents perspective and it would cause problems down the line anyways so we both agreed that we care about each other but it’s for the best.

author comment
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