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Don't Wait Up

Don't wait up for tea she said, in the message she left me
I'll be working half the night away, till then I won't be free
So go ahead and eat your meal, don't worry about a thing
If I find I'm working later then, l guess I'll have to ring.

Don't wait up for me she said, you know l'm working late
The office now is understaffed, and clientele won't wait.
There's emergency in the ward again, and desperate are the beds
There's no-one left we can call in, when all is done and said

Don't wait up I'm coming home, soon as l leave my perch
Don't truly know when that will be, they've left me in the lurch
I'll have to find a volunteer, to handle extra chore
So l can come as soon as that, and not a time before.

Don't wait up my love you know my heart is never strong
For l am fainting with a weakness, for where l true belong
For every minute we're apart, a feeling overpowers
And every second we're apart seems like we parted hours.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

such an incredible write! it tells a lot about how you think, I love it! these are my favorite lines:

Don't wait up my love you know my heart is never strong
For l am fainting with a weakness, for where l true belong
For every minute we're apart, a feeling overpowers
And every second we're apart seems like we parted hours.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you for your insightful comment. You always leave valued remarks and I appreciate them very much.

Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

My wife and I are both nurses now retired. This situation happened more often than I like to remember. It never got any easier. I'd cook dinner for her but she was always late because of work issues.

Thank you for your kind comments and for taking the time to read and comments.

Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

a familiar ring to it!
I remember my ex-wife leaving messages like that for me.
[She was an N.A.]

Two, I think that the [urr] sound of work and [lurch], will be sufficient to carry the rhyme
instead of using [lurk]. The word lurk just doesn't do it for me, as it doesn't have
a meaning even close to what you are talking about. Otherwise, a great piece that conveys
the love of both the person messaged and the career. Great stuff. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you for your comment and insight regarding "lurk" I will make corrections to it as soon as I can.
I always enjoy your helpful pearls of wisdom they are very precious.

Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

I've changed lurk to lurch what it was supposed to be originally and I've made the rhyme line above it to "as soon as I leave my perch" . I was wondering what you thought of that change.

Thank you for this insight.
Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

I've changed lurk to lurch what it was supposed to be originally and I've made the rhyme line above it to "as soon as I leave my perch" . I was wondering what you thought of that change.

Thank you for this insight.
Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

Were you or your better half a nurse? or in that profession?, my mum was a nurse at three different hospitals, she was Matron but a kindly friendly sort not the grumpy mean ones you sometimes come across.

Now to your poem; this is beautifully crafted I think it's one of my favourite's there is a true love here, I don't know how long you have been together, but it seems like it's a forever kind of love, that's what I get from this, I can't pick favourite lines they are all excellent.

another wonderful write Bravo

kindest Regards Hugs Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Thank you for you kind words. I am a great admirer of you and your work and I value your remarks highly.

My wife (46years now) and I are both nurses now retired. This was a real occurrence during our working years it inspired much written work on my part.

Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

With three close family members in the profession this rings very true. A topical piece. Alex

When my wife obtained her nursing license her first job was on a post partum unit. She went in at 11pm and got out at 7am. When a labor room position opened up that was also night shift but 7pm-7am. She just finally got on days two years ago and it likely saved our marriage. It’s very difficult to manage because you’re always seeing each other in passing. Never sharing the bed when you sleep. So difficult.

Excellent job conveying that longing.
Tim

I'm sure this situation would apply to just about any shift working job, nursing is not the only job that suffers these shifts and added on hours.

Thank you for reading my poem and for taking the time to respond. Your friendliness is cherished in my poetic world.

Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

I have many friends in the nursing profession and it is long hours away from their loved ones. You captured the feelings of both the person and their partner beautifully.

~RoseBlack~

Yes we are retired nurses and these situations occur very frequently.
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my poem.

Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment

Thanks for the remarks and for taking the time to read and reread my poem. I'm glad it wasn't too long. I will look at those stanzas again and see if I can smooth it out a little. Thanks for the insight.

Poets Hand
Hannah

author comment
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