I like the subject. I have recently had another conversation about that "inside" part of us where we will always be alone. This is another perspective on that thought. Our personal secrets would be hard for others, but not us... I think also the reverse is true. Much of what hurts inside of me would not trouble another.
Again, welcome. I hope you spend some time reading other works and leaving behind your thoughts.

Also, if you're interested, a new workshop is beginning. NeoPoet is a workshop environment where our chief purpose is to help each other to improve their poetry.
This shop will concern metaphors, so if you've ever wondered about the elusive little things, here is a place to catch them.

third sentence I'm assuming that no is a not?
I found the use of The at beginning of each sentence distracting I'm not a fan of repeating words such as this
may I suggest( and it is only a suggestion)
2nd sentence that which no one etc
3rd sentence a secret

yes everyone has their secrets don't they and those are the ones which may never be told
I do like the premise of the poem and would have liked it to be elaborated on
I see Wesley has already invited you to the workshop use your drop down menu where it says find a workshop
the title is hiding emotions in metaphors we would love to have you join us

Welcome

This is a good write for your initiation here :) I like the theme and clever use of metaphor.
There is something I'd like to share with you...

The more succinct free verse works better in the long run.... or so i have been told lol

Repeating things by simply saying them a different way loads up the write and begins to detract from the message

For example self and being are really the same thing....
Your lines 4 and 5, for example have already been covered in line 2 - if no one will ever know, then that includes family and friends - ditto, that only you know it, was covered in line 1
do you see?

Some people consider it rude to re-write another person's work, but I wanted to break this down for you so you would understand what I am trying to say....
I hope I don't offend you

It lies within the darkest corner of my being
The secret no one will ever know
The one I'll take to my grave
It will slowly kill me
devour me alive
into a deep dark trench with one light in sight

except the light of that dark secret that no one will know no one?.

......
Hope this is of help
Looking forward to reading more of your work
love judy
xx

I'd like to invite you to Barbara Write's new workshop. Keep your eyes open for a notification elsewhere. Look for a blog on The Stream. I think you would have fun and you might even learn something you didn't know.
What did you think of all of our suggestions? I'd like to know.