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Contagion

Submitted by Apostolos "Paul... on Wed, 2023-11-15 02:43

Infectious words
Hit the scene
Health experts
Demand quarantine

Mobs of spectators
Ask if there is
Any hope in antivirals?
Fix those DNA spirals.

Now experts reply.
With everyone we try
Deadly virus will
Quickly multiply

Best stay indoors
Hit the damn floors
it can walk through
Padlocked doors

They suggest
A crash course
In viral warfare.
If you are asking
They don’t fight fair.

See, the host is a poet.
Not afraid to show it
The hill of your fears
Into mountains
He will grow it

Killer words form a cult
That will certainly result
Into a fight to stay alive
You probably won't survive

Last few words:

co -write with mark

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2023-11-15 08:43

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Contagion" effectively employs metaphor, likening the spread of words and ideas to a viral outbreak. The use of medical and scientific terminology ("antivirals", "DNA spirals") adds a layer of authenticity to the metaphor, enhancing the overall impact of the poem.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent rhythm and meter. The varying line lengths and syllable counts can disrupt the flow of the poem, making it less engaging to the reader. A more consistent rhythm could enhance the urgency and intensity of the poem's theme.

The poem also seems to shift focus in the final stanzas, moving from a general metaphor about the spread of ideas to a more specific commentary about the role of the poet. This shift is not clearly signaled, which can make the poem feel disjointed. The poem might benefit from more explicit connections between these two themes.

Lastly, the poem's use of language is generally effective, but there are moments where the wording could be more precise. For example, the phrase "hit the damn floors" is somewhat unclear. More specific language could help to clarify the poem's meaning and enhance its overall impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Wed, 2023-11-15 12:41

Nicely done...

I can see both of the influences here. Kudos, my brave brothers! ~ Geez.
.

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Apostolos "Paul...

Wed, 2023-11-15 18:05