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The Confrontation: From Me to You

She stared her in the eyes
Not backing down
All the attemps before
Not this time
Of this she was sure
With an akimbo Stance
She made her stand

"Here we are again
Doing the same dance
The same song
All my life
Doing nothing but holding me back
Keeping me from success
And I
I've always been finding excuses
Any reason
To keep the blame from you
But I can't go on
Not like this
Not anymore
Not if I can help it

You stand there
Letting others push you around
Use you
Thinking your respected
Hate to break it you tootes
You let guys mistreat you
Purposefully mislead you
So easily wooed
With such pretty dumb words
Yet they lack the balls
The decency
The maturity
To claim you in front of the world
Giving you the respect you so rightfully deserve

Frineds walk all over you
Always have been
Putting you on the back burner
Flaking without a reason
Family can demand for the impossible
Demanding for the moon
You deliver
Or just about die trying

And yet you stand there
Taking it all
Expecting me to do nothing at all?
I'm done trying with you
You're such a waste of time
You never listen
Your mind
Your ears
They shut me out
How can I keep my pride?
Seeing you like that?
It's degrading."

Hurting inside
Tears cascade from her eyes
She notices the other girl thinking
Her mouth opens
And she knows instinctively
Excuses are about to be attempted
Her hands fall into fists
"Shut the hell up for once!" she screams

Her fist swings

The girl collapses
To her chest she holds her hand
Trying to stop the bleeding
Shattered glass rains around her
Sobs echo throught the bathroom
It seems her words fell upon deaf ears yet again

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I don't mind any advice. Personally I don't feel as if this is the finished product just yet. I've gone through it and seem to feel semi okay with it. I want to feel proud of it. Any advice would be grand. There is a second part to this that looks through the other girl's eyes.
Editing stage: 


yet I strangely relate to it. I have also had psychotic girlfriends. Have the scars to prove it.
It is not good poetry, it is a rant..

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Thank you for opinion and outlook on my writing. Its not suppose to be a feel good piece. I use to write all pretty and what not but got bored with the words. Lately I've been more about the emotion of something. I wouldn't mind a premium membership however I barely make enough now for bills. Perhaps once I get a better job I can invest more deeply into this site.

author comment

Just reading this made me feel strong. Like I could finally say that one thing that it kills me not to say. I love the power this projects!

The Unknown Poet

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Thank you for comment. Its humbling to know that someone can gain strength from something I've written. :)

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