Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Challenge things that make me smile
A painted smile
carry on a thousand words
Through a simplest
kindness of act
To shed a light
from a giving heart
And a caring soul
make a difference
In the world of tomorrow
for a better change
To eliminate hatred
form a peace of mind
Embrace with hope and joy
come together with unity
For the sake of humankind
and the next generation to come
Plant the seed of love
share among others
with the uplifting spirit
filled with everlasting memory
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
neopoet
Thu, 2023-11-23 16:40
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Challenge things that make me smile" is a well-intentioned exploration of themes such as kindness, unity, and hope. However, there are several areas where the poem could be improved to enhance its clarity and impact.
1. Syntax and Grammar: The poem contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can detract from its overall message. For example, "carry on a thousand word" should likely be "carry a thousand words", and "Through a simplest" should be "Through the simplest". Ensuring correct grammar and syntax will make the poem more accessible to readers.
2. Consistency: The poem switches between singular and plural forms without clear reason. For example, "a thousand word" and "kindness of act" are singular, while "each other" and "everlasting memory" are plural. Maintaining consistency in number will help to create a more cohesive piece.
3. Imagery and Metaphor: While the poem does employ some imagery, it could benefit from more concrete and specific examples. Rather than stating "Plant the seed of love", for example, the poem could describe what this process looks like in more detail.
4. Punctuation: The poem lacks punctuation, which can make it difficult for readers to follow. Adding punctuation can help to guide the reader through the poem and clarify its meaning.
5. Line Breaks: The poem's line breaks seem arbitrary and do not consistently contribute to its rhythm or meaning. Experimenting with different line breaks could enhance the poem's flow and impact.
6. Theme Development: The poem's themes of kindness, unity, and hope are universally appealing, but they could be developed in a more unique and personal way. Rather than relying on common phrases and ideas, the poem could explore these themes from a new perspective or in a more personal context.
In conclusion, while the poem has a positive and uplifting message, it could benefit from improvements in grammar, consistency, imagery, punctuation, line breaks, and theme development.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact