It seems that titles are
something that people are having trouble with lately.

I think your title is good, it drew me in,
which is what a title is supoosed to do.

Meter is something else that plagues us too.
If you are to rhyme, meter is a thing that everyone should
be interested in. It helps to keep the rhythm smooth, so that
a reader can concentrate on the message, rather than awkward
pauses. As I say to everyone, it doesn't have to be exact to be good meter
because the natural breath rhythm takes care of a lot of it.

Reading aloud, helps a lot. People like to say
that they are up for a challenge, but when it comes to meter, they "cop-out"
and say; "Well, it doesn't matter." It does matter when you write rhyme.

You have a typo in the second line of the first stanza. [Only change]...

~ Geezer.
.