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At The Bar- Challenge #18
Closing time, only one left
Head down in a vodka escape
Sadness ebbed blood red
Through lifeless eyes
Twenty years flashed
Like a reel through time
Good deeds gone punished
No hope to find
Bartender says it's time to go
She lets out a sigh
One last sip and a final tear
Splinters against her despair
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2022-08-01 20:21
Nicely done
Last line there it’s “despair”
Other than that I think it’s pretty finished. You have a really good one here.
RoseBlack
Mon, 2022-08-01 21:00
Thanks
For catching that typo! Going to make the change now.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-08-04 17:11
der RB,
a very fine answer to the challenge! I hope to come back to this tomorrow, as I'm whipped today.
it deserves a decent reading and answer.
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-08-04 17:21
Thanks, Cat
I will await your full review and response.
~RoseBlack~