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And from there we burned
We burned
hearts on fire, you were there
while I turned
and saw my mother unaware
my sleeves were long to cover up
what i could only show to you
i pled with her to fill my cup
but she left it bleeding to just us two
but my best friend died
from a few pills at twelve
and god i cried
to the blade i helve
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words:
this is about my history of depression in my childhood and going through the death of my best friend from suicide at the young age of twelve.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Explicit Content
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Comments
Skye Blue
Sun, 2022-07-10 20:03
suicide and self harm
my trauma dump
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2022-07-11 05:32
dear Skye Blue,
i am so sorry you have found such sorrow and tragedy at such a young age. I hope it has made you stronger. welcome and glad to meet you!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Skye Blue
Mon, 2022-07-11 22:59
Thank you so so much. It
Thank you so so much. It definitely has made me stronger and i appreciate the welcome
author commentRoseBlack
Mon, 2022-07-11 19:00
Welcome to Neopoet
I see this is your first poem. Trauma, suicide, self harm, more trauma, a very courageous and honest write. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with us. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
~RoseBlack~
Ray Whitaker
Fri, 2022-07-15 13:59
I had to look up the word "helve"
Very interesting piece. Address's the thing of suicide, a tough subject at best.
I really love the "POETS AS WITNESS" writing.
Tis obvious to me that you've put a tremendous amount of thought into this piece.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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