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Submitted by shazbat on Tue, 2011-10-04 14:47

I am not a robot
I am not made of steel
I’ve a mind I’ve a brain
I can think, I can feel
Through my frame courses blood
Deep inside beats a heart
I am not a robot
Don’t tear me apart
You could never repair
The parts that get broken
You haven’t the tools
And words softly spoken
May lead you to think
That your game has been won
I am not a robot
The damage is done

Editing stage:

Not actively editing

Comments

weirdelf

Tue, 2011-10-04 22:53

oh boy, when you get serious

you get serious.

So know the feeling, I'm sure she left some parts out.

Beautifully written, no suggestions.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

shazbat

Wed, 2011-10-05 19:06

And it's not like me to get

And it's not like me to get serious, is it ?
But if I do you can bet it's for a good reason
Nice to know you enjoyed it.

I read your "Tough guy" yesterday and I've done my own take on it, needless to say it is a bit different from yours, the title caught my eye and away I went, going to post it next.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keyw...

author comment

weirdelf

Fri, 2011-10-07 14:12

I seee the revision back and forth,

wise to stick with the slight mis-stress without the contraction, methinks.

(A slight mistress maybe more desirable than a fat one, tehe)

Will you be joining us for the rhyme workshop?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

shazbat

Sat, 2011-10-08 14:59