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As cold as ice

Slaughter in here, ethnics
Butchery in there ,politics
Souls from various creeks
For Charon to cross the styx

As cold as ice

Deadly storms won’t cease
Sweeping Tsunamis increase
Forest fires destroy Greece
Why not ask Nature for peace?

As cold as ice

Manmade four-wheeled slayers
On roads merciless killers
Toys for hit and run drivers
Highways innocents’ manglers

As cold as ice

Stand and watch
Human feelings do scotch
This is but a small blotch
Your heart door forever do latch.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Comments

that you were reading a newspaper when this poem occured to you. I was not particulary impressed with the form, it looks like you were trying to do an exercise of some sort. The rhyme scheme seems forced, and the third verse just didn't make sense to me at all. You have some very interesting thoughts here, but they don't seem co-hesive. I would like to see what you can do with this. make me believe I am reading that paper over your shoulder. ~ Geezer

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It's easy to list atrocities, but a real poet names names and starts arguments.

I've got to say that last verse is appalling in those awkward 'poetic' constructions-
Human feelings do scotch
Your heart door forever do latch.

Give this piece some thought, about what you really want to say. It has potential.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

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