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GET THE MORNING UP!

Submitted by Adamou2009 on Tue, 2012-01-31 16:28

Get the morning up!

Our night'been too long.
For daylight, now I do long.
Out, for dignity do all throng.
Hand in hand sing the salvation song.

Get the morning up!

Sprung, bounteous mobs I can hear.
Forget the flowers of yesteryear.
The new Spring, they'll never sear.
Tendered gore,them all will rear.

Get the morning up!

Groveling, servility never been inhere.
Your roaring silence, don't veneer!
Away chase the mighty jageer.
To lustering Springs, let's all adhere!

Get the morning up!

Shimmering light, the tyrants daze.
Together, we'll clear away the haze.
Come! Welcome the morning rays.
Ahead, a new, glorious phase.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This poem is about 'The Arab Spring'.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Thu, 2012-02-02 14:11

Candlewitch's picture
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I haven't seen you or your work here until now... So I say to you "hello and welcome". You have written very good poem about Spring. I really like these lines:

Shimmering light, the tyrants daze.
Together, we'll clear away the haze.
Come! Welcome the morning rays.
Ahead, a new, glorious phase.

always, Cat

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