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Black Candles

 black candles in the night
soft flicking light
casting our shadows on the wall
not much talk, bedroom eyes say it all
cheap wine drank from a jelly glass
she's no Lady and she has no class
she turns up the radio
to drown out, our little rodeo
with a grin on her face
she moves with grace
this woman all in black
leaving marks on my back

tomorrow I'll have to pay
for this night of play
I know the cost will be great
this woman loves with all the passion of hate
when she's through, all her charm is gone
then once more, I'll be alone
but some day she will return
with her black candles to burn
then again, somewhere in the night
I'll miss her parting flight.
          copyright 2001    hippiepoet69
— hippiepoet69, Dec 11, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Critiques

SD

September Daydreams

16 years 5 months ago

Black

Black Candles-romantic,intriguing,sad title.It flowed nicely and I liked the story behind it.I think it'd have been much better if it didn't rhyme as I'm not a fan of rhyming poems.The opening is good.
H

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks for reading and commenting.

LOL I've just started reading more non-rhyming poems. I have only wrote one in my life. I could not make it rhyme without filler words. It was a fun little poem. "Today was Tomorrow Yesterday" OH! Black Candles is mere fiction. It was inspired by a poet friend who liked black candles. She also hinted of a darker side I never seen. She was a Lady the time I spent with her. I would walk away from everything for her. huey
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 4 months ago

black Candles

Hippie poet Moments captured in time that can be recalled again and again. This is all we have but no one can take these moments away Electric Blue
H

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Electric Blue

Black Candles is fiction but not the Lady who inspired it. She liked Black Candles. And I do have memories of her that will have to do. She is a great poet and person. huey
N

ngaioBeck

16 years 3 months ago

Black Candles

Wine from a jelly glass eh! Black candles. Wow! High off the hog!For me it was white lightnin' from an old wine bottle in a brown paper bag, by the light of a Coleman lantern. I love this one it brings back memories.
H

hippiepoet69

16 years 3 months ago

Sounds good

Whitelightning is a little strong for me. But the rest sounds good. I never got to see the wild side of the Lady that inspired this poem. She was my Lady and she will always be a Lady to me even if I find out otherwise. Take Care. huey
P

pamela

16 years 1 month ago

flickering light

Dear H., I really liked this piece. I smoothed out the beginnig just a touch. What do you think? Black candles in the night softly flickering light casting shadows on the wall bedroom eyes say it all cheap wine from a jelly glass she'a no lady and has no class P.
H

hippiepoet69

16 years 1 month ago

Sounds good

I had to read it twice to catch the change. Thanks for the help. I will try to remember to change it later. Take Care. huey
Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 1 month ago

Hello Huey

I really thought that this line was great: this woman loves with all the passion of hate but I feel the last line is weak. I'm sorry that I have no suggestions. Always, Cat
H

hippiepoet69

16 years 1 month ago

Thanks Cat

I read over the poem. I'm OK with the last line. But I'm open to any suggestionson from anyone. There is always better lines or ways to put them together. Thanks Cat and always feel free to give me advice. I need all the feed back good or bad. Take Care. huey