Electric Blue

Nov 04, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sunny Day

Sunny Day A beautiful sunny day

a light breeze as a sweet cares

I stand on the bridge overlookingthe stream below me Sunlight dances on the waterglittering shimmeringsparkling diamonds shineRed tipped golden leaves fallingcurl upwards atop of the gentle currant

They twist and turn meandering over rocksaround bends fast water flowing quickensthe pace as the leaves danceever onward tojourneys end

Electric Blue

— Electric Blue, Nov 04, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Critiques

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Blue

What a beautiful sunny day. Warms the soul this one. Such a lovely write. Love the colorful play with words. Well done, love to you, Lyz. XX

Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

Sunny Day

Lyz It was a wonderful day my heart filled with love I had several errands to do so started from the furthest point and walked back slowly stopping off at several stops taking in the view one being walking on the bridge over the river. where I stood looking down Sunlight dancing on the water the Autaum leaves falling floating dancing on thermals twisting and turning down onto the water below leaves seperated being carried in the slip stream on that journey of the unknown It was timeless I just stood there alone breathing it all in capturing this special moment which will stay with me always Electric Blue

Nordic cloud

16 years 7 months ago

Sweet vision you create for us Maggie,

Sweet vision you create for us Maggie, I am Pooh watching sticks, but in this case its leaves, and what a charming journey they are having with your pen surely they will reflect your smile to other leaves further down stream? Love Ann of Norway. Did you mean- "sweet cares........S" "journey end......jouneyS end?"

Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

Sunny Day

Ann I mean sweet caress a kiss journey's end I will correct thank you for joining me on my journey always Electric Blue

Candlewitch

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Maggie

In the second stanza, fifth line, did you mean the word "current?" A beautiful and dreamy poem for this time of year. Always, Cat

Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

Sunny Day

Cat Hope you are feeling better now my friend. Currant as in the flow of the water not of current issues have I got it around the wrong way if so I will correct it. It was a beautiful dreamy day a special moment my heart filled with love day dreaming on the bridge looking down at the water watching the movement - hypnotizing - I became part of the slip stream Always Electric Blue

Dalton

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Electricblue

Slight confusion in the syntax in the first stanza. Otherwise loved the poem. I wanted to see the fish scales glinting diamonds in the sun. But who am I to judge your work. There is a lovely Zen mystic quality to your work, and a take me as I am. The first trait of a good artist. hope to read more of your work, Respects Dalton.

Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

Sunny Day

Dalton It was the reflection of the sun on the surface of the water and the flow. I was the water carrying the leaves on a journey of the unknown sunlight sparkling on the water - brilliant - musically dancing. Zen yes - I do feel so apart of nature - a oneness I am an artist-I retain this image so to create my beautiful vision at a later time I can recall it in an instant - so serene Thank you for looking in on my work Sorry what is Syntax? kindest regards Electric Blue

Dalton

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Blue

Just had a few worries about the wording in the first stanza. You said: "I stand on bridge". The rational part of the brain seems to nag, doesn't she mean: "On the bridge". That's all I meant. But maybe its supposed to be that way. In which case please ignore. No real criticism, Respects Dalton.

Electric Blue

16 years 7 months ago

Sunny Day

Dalton Thank you for bringing this to my attention I was very tired when I wrote this and even when reading this a few times I did not pick up on it. Now corrected and hope now that it will flow better Always Maggie

yenti

16 years 6 months ago

Little Blue Fighter

There the sun has come out for you to show you that even as the leaves are shed and taken by the stream it brings a happiness to your ways. This was a lovely piece and made me smile in the knowledge that you found such beauty and a wealth of happiness in such a scene. To write so has told me that the strength you now have will make the rest of your days secure in that you now know that you were strong enough to smile on the other side of a troubled time, Yours Ian.T

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Sunny Day

Ian My walk was full of joy - as my heart was where it belongs - always. The worlds seemed brighter - it was a such a beautiful day. One of many memories to recall - just a moment in times - when I may be feeling low - the colours warmed me I was all aglow my insides melted away I can see and smell all before me now my senses heightened open to all so sensual the beauty of nature carpets of colour crunch so beneath my feet. I watched the leaves dance down in slow motion landing gently on the water below resting upon the surface so light onward go Ian thank you for sharing my journey Maggie

Seren

16 years 6 months ago

Dear Maggie

Oh Sunny day this ones wonderfull Magzzzzzz it feels happy , and I could nearly dance for joy ... (huggles) love and biggest hugs Jayne x x x

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Sunny Day

Jayne Thank you for reading my poem. I hope you were able to join me on my walk and for it to make you feel as wonderful as I. I am glad you were able to share my journey. take care my friend always maggie

ziggy

16 years 6 months ago

hi there

now this i like ,it would be one my favs of yours thus far a happy joy filled feeling with a plesant flow through the words ,,,,,zigs

Electric Blue

16 years 6 months ago

Sunny Day

Zigs This was a very recent event. It shows my love shinning through I was where I wanted to be with whom I wanted to be with Every day is a special day blue