Seren

Aug 26, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

To the Last Drop

Looking around
startled awake,
I gaze around
and begin to shake

Thinking I'm mad
pretending a dream,
suddenly I realize
I'm sitting in a stream

Sitting to left
an elf appeared,
he just smiled
and said
"Howdy there"

Standing up
I am naked as day
"oh my god !!
what would mum say?"

Finding leaves
and bits of vine,
making a dress
that flowed divine

Another realm called
reaching through veils,
it caused me to pause
but I wandered the trail

Off to the right
hushed in soft light,
a unicorn was bucking
dazzling the night

He walked up to me
nudged with his horn,
gestured to follow
I'm agasp and in awe

But,follow him I did,
closely at heel,
I was silent in wonder
across Elysian fields

Floating a cloud
up to the moon,
sitting on a star
a universe cocoons

Sweeping the solar winds
fingertips reach up,
resting at peace
in the bottom of teacup's

— Seren, Aug 26, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

seabhac

16 years 9 months ago

can't beat a cup of tea

Your work is like reading a good book ...it takes me to places and conjours pictures in my head that lets me follow you on your journey, I love the humour in this one too...you are getting nicely cheeky, well done ...it made me smile. Thanks

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Liz

Nicely Cheeky !! I love that, this was writen in fun again, lately I have been writing a lot of serious stuff and I decided it was time to lighten up ... I am glad it whisked you away,that is what I try to do,taking you all on a mystical ride to wherever I go lol I love writing fantasy poems,and they take me away for moments , be warned the next poem I am writing is a rant and I let fly ... language wise lol ... Love and hugz Jayne x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Candlewitch

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Jayne

I like what Seablac said, "nicely cheeky" I love this side of you! Your humor is as unique as is your style of poetry. I have only one problem where I tripped over the lines: Echoing whinnies reaching through veils, cause me to pause but walk through the pale It may just be me but I thought this verse was a little bumpy. My favorite lines are: Standing up I am naked as day “oh my god !! what would mum say?” I bet she would have loved this! Love, cat

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Cat,

I had problems with the verse you mentioned I am thinking of alternatives to that verse,you always go straight the the heart of the lines I have the most trouble, you always feel my unease in lines? You are such a good judge,I am so happy you liked this one but then I always am when you do like them ... you know the funny thing I cannot drink tea or coffee I am alergic lmfao .. Love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Sourav

16 years 9 months ago

Well… all I can say, I’m

Well... all I can say, I'm really mesmerized by this write. Specially the use of language is fantastic. Awesome!

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Sourav

I am so glad you liked this , it was just a bit of fun, and it gives me great pleasure when people enjoy my writes , thank you for your comment and the purdy stars love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Seren

Awesome, romantic,,soulful and yes, a bit cheeky.And what is it with you and the elf,ha!Have you got a secret? Lol. Great start to my day, a beautiful vision in my head, no, not the naked bit, lol, and a smile on my face.Honestly though, it is a beautiful read. Lyz.x

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Lyz

The message of the elf ... ahhhh now some people might know what hes about, or twigged to what its about, its just me letting a friend know hes still in my thoughts, hes going through a rough patch and I just want him to know hes not been forgotten (the elf isnt an elf though LMAO), I am so happy you liked this one :D It is one of my favourites now, still needs some work though so I will tweak it over the next week or so ... thanks again for the read and the stars much love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

sweetspirit

16 years 9 months ago

Seren

I love this the best out of all I have read of yours..and I think I have read all on your page ;) I too love the fantasy, that is where my heart is..I love the happy go lucky ones and the dark and mysterious ones.. It read like a fairytale Jen

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

WOW Jen !! LOL

Last time I counted I had about 80 something poems on neopoet , not sure how many I have now ... Thats a great honour for you to take the time to read my stuff ..thank you ...I am so happy you like this one its one of my favourites , love and hugz Jayne x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

hugo la rosa

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Seren

Yes, dreams have a reality of its own, we just take it or leave it. But taking it has an ethical responsibility. I don't know, but I think that way. Anyhow, there is a certain beauty in dreams that leaves you thoughtful, but relieved. Regards, Hugo

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Hugo

My dear friend imagine a life without dreams ? ... I dont want to contemplate it .. thank you for your generous comment you are always so giving of yourself ... love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

Geezer

16 years 9 months ago

Reminds me of...

Reminds me of the days when I was allowed to drink tea with my mom and her friend, they were big into telling fortunes with tea leaves in the bottom of the cup. When we were almost through with the tea, we would tear a little rip in the tea-bag, and swish the leaves around, then carefully sipping the last, let them settle where they might. They formed shapes, and were read by prominence/size and, therefore told future events, or gave solutions to problems pondered. I will remind my mom that I remember those times, when next I see her. Thank whatever powers that be, she is still around to tell her. L & Hugz, Gee

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Gee

I am so glad you got the analogy , that was the whole idea all this in the bottom of a tea cup .... wow imagine a world on the head of a pin and fantasy in cups what a wonderful diverse world it would be .. Love and hugz Jayne x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

harriet

16 years 9 months ago

to the last drop

I love it...i kept reading it over and over and over again! you're good! **wink**

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Harriet

First off I dont think we have met before so hello ... lovely to meet you ... Thanks for your comment LOL I liked the*wink* shows you have a sense of humour , and I loveeeee to laugh ... I am so happy you liked it will be looking to read you !! **Wink** LOL Kind Regards Jayne "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

evin

16 years 9 months ago

I really liked the flow and

I really liked the flow and the imagery you created. Fine piece of work. Cool title. (K)evin

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Kevin

Thank you for your lovely comment I always get just a thrill when people enjoy my poems , glad you like the title I have been trying to improve my titles I used to have lots of trouble with them LOL ... Kind regards Jayne We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

evin

16 years 9 months ago

Yeah, I still have trouble

Yeah, I still have trouble with them but I am working on it. I guess the titles are important because they usally relate to the heart of the poem the way I see it.

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Kevin

When I first started I had heaps of trouble naming my poems , It was soo hard coming from just scribbles in books to structuring and formatting and then naming them properly lol ... I am still a novice at this I have been here six months but some of the other poets have been writing seriously for many years I take their advice and pick and choose what comments or suggestions are relevant to my poem ,and I have learnt so much since I have been here , anyway I am off to read your poem lol or poems, anytime you need help dont hesitate to ask .. Kind regards Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall"