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Morning Mist

 Its early morn just before dawn 

mist lays low trees - black

shadows looming

far and wide


 







Flower heads heavy laden from

torrential rain weeping tears

fall flowers lay now
sleeping
 Smells so fresh the morning dew

shines petals washed all anew

waiting for the mist to clear 

as if it is the first day

it starts all over
again



 Silence is broken by  the

noise of the day


 
— Electric Blue, Aug 12, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

S

Sourav

16 years 9 months ago

It’s nice and true. Loved

It's nice and true. Loved the stanzas and the end. Last two lines really make the poem a complete one. Nicely done!
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Morning Mist

Sourav Thank you my friend. I am a shift worker and love getting off in the early hours and see the wonders so clearly. It is as if I am the only one around to see this amazing visual unfold as i walk. The air is clean and clear you can hear sound from afar but the dark shadows looming were overpowering. I am glad you were able to walk with me. I did wonder about the last two lines whether to put them in or not but as you say if felt complete Electric blue Maybe you can look in on a few of my other poems which are varied.
C

ConcreteRose

16 years 9 months ago

Very Pretty

I'm a night owl, so I'm up in the early hours of morning. You so beautifully paint those hours before the dawning of a new day.
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

morning mist

C R welcome to the neopoet family I am up early so often alone listen to the echo of my own footsteps echo on the sidewalk seeing it shiny and new after the rain that has washed all the cobwebs of the night away. Rain drops dew drops hanging on branches and leaves trying to deny gravity that will come but all in slow motion they fall singley each with a rainbow wish for all the souls earth relinquished I love to paint pictures with words and maybe someone may join me on my journey and see and feel what i feel. Always Electric blue
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Morning Mist

C R THANKS I will reply later as off to work am I it is dark outside but a walk i will have and see the day appear electric blue
greeneyes

greeneyes

16 years 9 months ago

wow

Beautiful! I loved it.
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Morning Mist

Welcome to the Neoports family Share my journey twixt twilight and dawn I just love to paint pictures with words share my journey in the early hours when is all clean washed anew Electric blue
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 9 months ago

Maggie...

this has got to be one of my favorite poems by you! It is really good, but I thought it needed a crisper layout, I hope you don't mind, but here is what I am saying... It's early morn just before dawn mist lays low trees (just) large black shadows looming far and wide Flower heads heavy laden from torrential rain(s) weeping tears fall flowers lay (now) sleeping Smells so fresh the morning dew shines petals washed (all) anew waiting for the mist to clear as if it is the first day it starts all over again silence is broken by the noise of (the) day the suggestions in parenthesis are where I would take out words that I felt unneeded, except for the one "s", again, I hope you don't mind... hope you are doing good Maggie! Richard
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Morning Mist

Richard Just me rambling in the early hours as I start out for work on my own Lost in the elements am I My mind wanders and become with nature Thank you for your rendition still thinking on it still will come back to it later. I am glad you joined me on my journey this early morn always maggie
Seren

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Maggie

This has to be one of your best I agree with Richard ...and i agree with his suggested changes but even if you don't change it ?? I am giving it a five ... definitely one of my favourite's of yours now .. love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Morning mist

Jayne Thank you my friend for sharing my journey with me I just love being one - a part of nature seeing it for the very first time the start of each new creation I see with eyes wide open for the first time honoured so am I often just me alone I trudge the start of each new day There is so much beauty out there so many people do not see as they walk with eyes closed sadly miss out on all the beauty around them Alone but not alone as I am surrounded by the earth sea and sky What else do I need accept for someone to share it all with me......... Always Electric Blue so blue
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

16 years 9 months ago

Morning Mist

Maggie. Have to agree with Richard here, excellent suggestions here, except I would take out "just" and "large" in the second line. Beautiful one Maggie! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Morning Mist

Janice Hello again my friend I am glad I was able to take you on my journey this morning Well this is me just rambling on as I travel to work. Just taking in all the elements that are so fresh. The richness the smell of the damp earth. The wet shiny sidewalks washed anew My mind races with the wind I cannot get enough of all around me. I just love this time of the morning it is just me alone I will consider what Richard and you have said. As I never plan or try to structure anything I write I just let if flow until it is done of course I do re read what I have done and rarely edit anything but do so occasionally always maggie
DS

Diatom Shells

16 years 9 months ago

..

those are some gorgeous discriptions you have laid down for us to see, hear, feel, and taste all the senses are stimulated with this piece nice job! -diatom shells
Electric Blue

Electric Blue

16 years 9 months ago

Morning Mist

D S Welcome my friend to the Neopoets family I am happy that you were able to take a walk with me this morning I was on my way to work in the early hours which i love the most as I am all alone with the elements where my sences are alive I am breathing in the fresh damp air seeing the sidewalks washed anew in the dull glow of the streel lights casting shadows creating shapes my mind set racing anew But again it is me all alone in the world again all that is constant are the elements and me such comfort they give me of hope that all can be renewed even me hopefully too Me just wishing and hoping of dreams that maybe fulfilled and that my heart will find the home it longs for I love all times of the day and night as alone I trudge and take in the elements of the day regardless of all the noise around me I seem to be shielded from the world so it is just me all alone but not alone if you see what I mean Electric blue so blue
O

orgami

16 years 9 months ago

Fresh poem

Hey I like this one Maggie I remember the different years of work walking from the home to the door I used to open up a store had the keys and all ran the register get the woodstove going make coffee serve the early customers then the most vivid one was the long six kilometer walk in fall to winter and spring along stretchs of suburbia and then woods always in darkness the snows falling the air frozen deep and chilling past a graveyard at one spot and pinery it was so beautiful just like your walk too all the time to think to feel to be swooned by the emotions very great Maggie