Tink

Jul 13, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Cancer Sucks! (Acrostic, Edited)

Cancer Sucks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cell mutation’s

Affliction of
Needlessly
Collapsing hope while
Eroding and
Raping the body, mind, and soul.

Slime slithering bastard
Unaware of its damage

Callous
Kamikaze-type
Saboteur.

Written by: Tink 7/13/09 6:11pm

— Tink, Jul 13, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Pennsylvania, USA

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Critiques

Seren

17 years ago

Tink

This says it all ... brilliant ... Love Jayne x x

Tink

17 years ago

Thanks for the stars and the read. I have dealt with loved ones battling this slimy bastard for a good majority of my life and this latest development has really gotten my goat. I hate to give cancer "rent free" space in my mind, but I need to vent somehow and this is it. Prayers for strength. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

Tink

17 years ago

Kelsey,

Thank you. Your prayers are much needed and greatly appreciated. I will be finding your poem and giving it a read. My best friend, who is battling brain cancer, was diagnosed three years ago with an inoperable cancerous brain tumor located in the left side of her brain in her motor cortex (the part that controls all of your fine motor skills) during the biopsy, she lost the ability to use her right arm. She can do some things, but holding a bag with something in it is a difficult task. Lately she has been suffering more seizures and noticed a few other oddities. She went for some tests last week. Just prior to my posting of my recent poems, tests revealed that a new "nodule" has appeared on the right side of her brain, so the slimy bastard is spreading. I'm crushed and she is freaking out. So is her family. (rightfully so) I'm venting by way of poetry, she's scrabbling to find a new avenue of hope... Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

Jonathan Moore

17 years ago

Three suggestions

First is where is the contest code? July is the Acrostic Contest Month and this is July and this is an acrostic but no contest code. Fix that, please. The second is just a pet peeve of mine, many folks don't mind it. They are tragically and horribly wrong, of course, but I can't help that. I'd lose the space between the first word and the rest of the sentence. For me it focuses my mind on this being an acrostic and the message become secondary. Structure, in my mind, should almost disappear to the reader when they experience a poem. I'd also play around with the line breaks, thus further disguising the acrostic nature. This lets the reader discover your secret rather than be told "OK, ACROSTIC TIME!" Third, I have two punctuation suggestions, those are [BRACKETED]. Let me show you what I mean: ================================ Cell mutation’s Affliction of Needlessly Collapsing hope while Eroding and Raping the body, mind[,] and soul. Slime slithering bastard Unaware of its damage Callous Kamikaze-type Saboteur[.] ============================== --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Psst! Jonathan,

do not get carried away, please. AEC members cannot enter the contest. But I like your suggestions and will keep that in mind for my own acrostics. Yours, ~Nina

Jonathan Moore

17 years ago

Ooops

Apparently I need to borrow some cash so I can pay attention. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Tink

17 years ago

Jonathon,

I love your suggestion and will be doing the editing in a few minutes. I would love to be in the contest for July but as a sitting AEC member, I cannot participate. But thank you for the vote of confidence. and thank you for the read and suggestions. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Tink,

I love what you did here. It's a really good acrostic with an actual message! Yes, cancer sucks. You know that I, too, have a friend who has cancer, so I can absolutely relate. Hugs, ~Nina

Tink

17 years ago

Nina,

Thank you. My prayers are with your friend as well as mine. This nasty little slime ball of a crap disease needs to have a cure. I'm tired of it ruining the lives of people, especially those i care about. Thank you for your support. much love Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

Candlewitch

17 years ago

Last year

my hubby and I lost a good friend to Pancreatic Cancer. He fought the good fight but lost his life in the end. The best thing I can say is that he went quickly. We will always miss him. I am so sorry for your friend having to go through this battle. My heart and prayers go out to your friend. My suggestions are the same as Jonathans. I am giving five stars because I have already read that you intend to make the changes to this heart-wrenching Acrostic. Always, Cat

Electric Blue

17 years ago

Cancer Sucks

Tink I know this abomination only too well I had a brief encounter myself but have lost both parents two best friends and two husbands one as you know only this april. So cruel it is to rape yes rape the quality of life mind and soul from them watching them day by day loosing the battle with each breath. Only the pain of the enemy still remains overtaking the brain until all is still only the final release. To be there 24/7 as i have been release is the only thing you pray for from the slivering slim the needless endurance the struggle - tears flow again maggie Electric blue

Tink

16 years 12 months ago

Maggie,

I am sorry to have made the tears fall again for you my friend, but know that i offer my shoulder if you need support. i have seen this take away my grandmother, both grandfathers, an uncle, my father, my stepfather, my father-in-law, many friends and now my best friend is battling for her life. I share your pain. Thank you for the read, understanding and support. Please take a second to offer a prayer for my friend. i'm here if you need to vent. Live, Laugh and Love (and don't forget to write) Tink

sweetspirit

16 years 11 months ago

I think this is saddley

I think this is saddley beautiful..Is is horrible for anyone to suffer this plague but so many have a form of this and it is never easy especially if it is someone you know an care about..

Jillian Botha

16 years 6 months ago

So accurate.....

This is probably the most accurate line i have ever seen on the subject of Cancer "Raping the body, mind and soul"..... it says exactly what Cancer acutally does to one. Once again Tink well done, and the awareness of this subject really needs to be raised ten fold. I watched someone i loved dearly waste away so quickly, yet through all the suffering, never once did his spirit falter...... Powerful... Yours in script Jill Mistakes happen, do not dwell on them, live them, mourn them and move on to better things. (PS: if that does not work eat lots and lots of chocolate)