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Wisdom of the Dead

Submitted by Leonard on Thu, 2011-07-07 02:19

If the destination is not reached - let the journey be engaging.

LMD

I am permanent
in my impermanence
changeless
in my change
immortal
in my mortality
intransient
in my transience

What do I cling to
to steady
my rocking boat
where is my anchor

Is there anything
in me
that can watch the change
imbibe it
experience it
embrace it
and remain unchanged
by it

How deeply
will I have to plumb
the treacherous canyons
my consciousness
to find it

I strive
to make the “now”
into a tranquil ocean
that is fed
by an unceasing stream
of the future
to bring about
a transformation
so that
the past becomes the
road I leave behind
and the future
is expressed
in the ubiquitous
present

Only a mighty
ocean
can absorb movement
without being
moved
can transform
without being transformed

Only total resignation;
total acknowledgement;
total and holistic
acceptance
Of the inevitability
Of change
can transform turbulence
in to that of calmness

To remain unmoved
to watch the nuances
of change
without judging it
evaluating
or interfering with it
is to have arrived

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

lou

Thu, 2011-07-07 09:43

lou's picture

In general this is a well written poem, but I find the first Stanza a little confusing, it conradicts itself quite a lot, and reads like a list . Maybe you could say something like:

I am a contradiction
constant, changeless,
yet replte with variety.
I feel immortal yet
I know life is transient

Obviously you can come up with something better than my example.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Leonard

Thu, 2011-07-07 22:04

Leonard's picture

Actually, what I speak of in the first stanza is the fact of impermanence being permanent, change being changeless and so on. While we seek assurances of immortality from our religion and belief systems, what we experience here in life that the only thing that is true is change.

Thanks again for reading and commenting

Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

author comment

Kailashana2

Thu, 2011-07-07 10:10

Hi Leonard, it sounds more like a thesis than a poem. Where's the heart in all this...to balance it out? Indeed it is well-written, concise and well-formed.

~A

Leonard

Thu, 2011-07-07 22:09

Leonard's picture

Absolutely great to reconnect with an old poet friend after a long hiatus. Well what can I say - except that this piece is just an out pouring.

Thank you for reading and appreciating.

Keep in touch. Always a pleasure hearing from you

Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

author comment

raj

Thu, 2011-07-07 11:44

i found this write very stimulating in the context of it being not only thought provoking but also dwelling on the various transitions and transformations one experiences in life and the human struggle to cope up with the changes....i enjoyed it thoroughly...

regards..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Leonard

Thu, 2011-07-07 21:59

Leonard's picture

Am really glad that you like and enjoyed and, more than that, found it stimulating. I myself was highly stimulated when I wrote it. Because practically every person is deeply concerned with impermanence, it creates a sort of urgency in one to do things before time runs out thus, opening up the floodgates of creativity.

Thanks once again

Leonard

Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

author comment

weirdelf

Fri, 2011-07-08 04:13

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Yes, the poem is an outpouring, and frankly touches on nothing of philosophical originality or significance. Or, more pertinently, a peronal emotional reaction to the ideas or even an epiphany. Sorry, but a bit bland, even philosophically cliched.

It could be improved immeasurable by expressing its own deep emotional l impact on yourself.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Leonard

Fri, 2011-07-08 05:05

Leonard's picture

All I have done is try to give expression to my feelings as they move into the stream of consciousness. It was written with the sole intention of sharing these feelings. If you dissect and trisect it with a surgical knife with the the sole intention of being critical, I am afraid (as in your case) you will have missed the point.

I am not opposed to constructive criticism but frankly, you have given me nothing to work on or consider.

Thanks all the same Jess for at least taking the time to read.

Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

author comment

weirdelf

Fri, 2011-07-08 05:28

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

"It could be improved immeasurable by expressing its own deep emotional l impact on yourself."

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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