Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Horizon

Horizon

I look to the
vanishing point of my
eclectic life,
self-reflection
stirs memories
of both virtuous quality
and abysmal events.

If I were a coward
I would purge the
horrific occurrences,
one by one, for they
often lead to reopening
past, unrelenting stings.
If I were a weakling
I would flee from these things.

Although I remain
with the memories intact,
there are people
I have cut from my life;
no need to continue
with sadistic/masochistic,
appalling relationships.

In this, I admit to
having burned bridges.
I can still smell
the pollution of foul stench,
smoke, and soot
in the grey atmosphere.

Each poem that flows
from my pervasive pen
is remembrance of all I’ve seen
things that I wouldn’t change;
around and within me
and every place I’ve been.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Interesting and provocative poem that I found captivating as it helped me think about my life and what I'd change and what I would keep if I had that power.
I have one suggestion. The end of the line I quote need not be a question. I think if you turn it into a statement it would have more impact.
"why continue
with sadistic/masochistic,
appalling relationships?"

vexations

I have used your suggestion and I thank you for it :)

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

A beautifully introspective narrative that holds the heart of why you write poetry and what it does for you personally and what it might share with others.

To be even more effective in your message, you might consider changing the first stanza into present tense.

For example:

I look to the
vanishing point of my
extensively eclectic life.
Self-reflection
stirs memories
of both virtuous qualities
and abysmal events.

I feel "brings back memories" is unnecessary because memories are always there.

"I would purge the
horrific occurrences,
one by one, for they
often lead to reopening"

perhaps...

"I would purge these horrors
one by one
as they often reopen...etc."

Just a couple of things I noticed. When I read poetry I want to be able to take the meaning of the piece and apply it to myself. I want to learn from the words; the experience, but I want it to apply to self.

All in all this is quite lovely and introspective and I have enjoyed learning today. Thank you. ~Pamela

.. .

~"It's ALL about the Poetry~

Please join us in The Shark Pool

Thank you for your suggestions which I have utilized in this piece.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

a nice soliloquy touching upon many a milestone in life on the road travelled..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you. Good to see you!

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

piece of writing. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem, and have read it a few times! Excellent!

Namaste,

Lenny

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

To me this reads like the most beautiful prose. I identify with having to live with pain, and cutting out people who cause it.

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thanks for the understanding. Unfortunately, I am stuck with one of those people from my past, my sister! She holds me to her with guilt because she has no one else who can help her financially. On my mother's death bed, she requested that I "look after Kathryn and help her". (oldest sister) It tears me up inside because she was a major tormentor when I was younger.

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

the stanza I identify with speaks to me of all the wounds a scars we carry. I am surprised how easy they are re-opened, and the past hurt comes flooding in.
To recognize we have them is to know that we are but human, and thinner skin that we perceive ourselves to be.

"If I were a coward
I would purge the
horrific occurrences,
one by one, for they
often lead to reopening
past, unrelenting stings.
If I were a weakling
I would flee from these things."

Excellent prose, with good images of self awareness.

Eddie

"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." Lao Tzu

...

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

You are most understanding of this piece, and it is greatly appreciated.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I knew that you would "get" this piece. And it makes me feel a kinship to you. So sorry that you have personal knowledge of this life situation. All my best to you.

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Thank you so very much. I know you can relate very well to this piece. Always glad to receive your comments!

love, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

enough comments to occupy your time for a while. I like your work here and suggest only that you consider dropping a few of the adjectives. for example, line 3 extensively.

vexations

Thanks much. I have dropped "extensively" from that line. I hope it reads more smoothly now.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Sometimes I think the people writing the critical comments know less about poetry than those they critique.

vexations

I haven't been on for awhile so I haven't responded to your comments. I will take your suggestions into advisement and get back to you soon. Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment on this piece.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

It is always a pleasure to hear from you, dear gentle soul.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

We all have a share of siblings

who kiss you in front of parents
earn their favor and flatter
then behind your sleek
undoubted back they snap
and
spit.. spawn or venom what
and smash you up
for ever
you simply sulk

I have chosen your deep poetic profile
to teach myself
how to evolve
from a dwarf to a giant
Hopefully

loved

You honor me by reading. You make me smile and do my heart good! Thank you!

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

No matter who(m) we are
and how great a poet
one may be,
but a comment from a known one
enhances the poet's poeticity
so let’s read and comment
a word of admiration
would do,
now shouldn't you too?

loved

packed lives in days of yore
the steamers lugging much change
and costumes
a sticker for every ocean
every rail destination
and some of the horrid passage
Im sure were covered with new
skins new emblems or removed
leaving the scar

I spent years travelling with
others along lifes journey
And I can understand now
after all this time how some
from teen work so hard to
be able to own all that they
have in t heir lives Their
cars, their clothes, their
lodgings, their appointments
And now these men and
women Young and old
still wistfully wish for freinds
and mates..but there are
so many with the crooked
smiles whom play the games

I served many like tours of
duty and took the often scathing
words and snubs and derision
and could have should have
left...these lessons these teachings
the experiences could have turned
me into a childhish miserable
sonf of a bitch against the world
like so many today out here but
I didnt.. I toured on my own
learned that this is hard work too
That its just easier to take the
kicks sometimes rather then
responsibility for having a house
or apartment or owning a car

People want to be a friend
and its always about trade
about business There are
some who are happy to get
so much and give little in
return

My ideals were my youthful
blindess and drive where today experience
is my GPS to finding good
lodging and good freindships
suprises now on the road of life
but I know what is good to stop
at and stay and meet
and that which I can now know
to avoid

Thank You

Thank you so very much for reading and taking the time to give me your words of wisdom. I appreciate every thought and word.

always, Cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

and in the spring when we would take the Oldsmobile 98 Regency
(fully loaded with velour cushions power six way seats,
air conditioner, cassette four speaker system, cruise
control, power retractable antenna and telescopic
tilt steering wheel..light metallic grey on grey with a
panther of a sequential six fuel inject under her hood)

I had ridden in Caddys before and fuel consumption was rich
and the Olds was quiet and elegant where the Caddies were
loud and proud..

Been just in this city much for twelve years
my road days are over
so a lot of it is in the mind thinking about all of that
That which I didnt have time to ponder about during the
event..But I come here and read your travel poem and
then dream an awakening.. Today I paint the living room
but I know I will be travelling while I do my efforts

I love your smokey bridge visions in your poem
we burn them to not keep some from visiting us
across the limtations but to keep from going back

Admire you work much

Mr Wolf

That there is a memory on the other side of burnt bridges and that it bothers your present, is a learning we have to do.
The one good thing is that we are in the NOW, where we are what the combination of all those things the other side of however many bridges you have crossed, have made us what we are NOW.
Look into any mirror, and if that person you see is good, then your life has, no matter what journey that has brought you to that image, been wonderful.
It has taught you so much, so let it stay as it was, there is no way you can change one second.
I believe that the image you see in the mirror is really GOOD.
Lovely write and now we can journey on, La La.
Take care of you, each of us are precious to the whole, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.