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stillife
i wonder if memory
finds a way to say thank you
when leaving cities
romantically inclined to
the summation of a smile
when he was tousled,
unkempt and his skin
felt like the gravel beach
we walked at evening
when he tried to explain
how the cosmos was heaven
and he had claims for entry
because he said prayers
quietly alone
what stuck was
a sturdy set of hands
until whiskey made them shake
the man became the boy
lost for a moment in dark doors
and a mind that closed itself
when i mentioned life was all we had
the lily felt more sacred
than the cheek that wept for him
laying in his blue serge
skin like wax fruit
in his mothers kitchen
she asked me
'how do you love someone
you hardly know?'
'with everything you do'
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Author information
Region & Country
Melbourne, Australia
Favorite Poets
Bukowski, Neruda, Rumi, Gibran, Jeffers, Corso, Waldman, Kerouac
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2011-04-21 05:59
Chez
that's a hard situation to content with, can love be enough or do you have to say enough?.
A wonderful heart stirring write.
Bravisima!
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
CCfire
Mon, 2011-04-25 21:16
A pretty insular person this
A pretty insular person this one so sometimes words are debated instead of accepted
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentMarie Marshall
Sat, 2011-04-23 06:06
*
Repays several readings.
M
___________
Nah pop no style, a strickly roots.
CCfire
Mon, 2011-04-25 21:15
Thanks Marie :)
Thanks Marie :)
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentCCfire
Mon, 2011-04-25 21:14
Xena, it is someone I've
Xena, it is someone I've known a while and truly didn't know at all which is somewhat like what his family describe, that's why it is written that way.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentCCfire
Mon, 2011-04-25 21:10
Sorry Ian
Net problems downunder...thanks for the read, I am glad you liked this one.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentNordic cloud
Tue, 2011-04-26 11:19
Oh this is terrific Chez
It just is, I have no complaints.
LuvAnn
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
CCfire
Tue, 2011-04-26 17:26
Yes Ann, sometimes it just
Yes Ann, sometimes it just is :)
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
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