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Expressions
Write the colours of your life
Write to escape the chains that bind
Feel the rhythm to your beat!
Unleash the light that shines within
Brightly burning like a white candle
The untouched flame
With no one to blame.
Write the colours of your life
Own your life and be in control!
Feel the sunshine on your face
See the rainbow as it graced
Dance to the beat of your own melody
Free your soul and escape!
Release the pains into the wind
Taste the healing medicine of forgiveness
Write the story of your life.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
How can this piece be improved if needs be? Thank you all for sharing a comment.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2022-08-20 17:58
I see the...
the bold idea that one can and should be in control of their life.
That you shouldn't hide your light beneath a basket, and forget that
life is a journey that should be colored by your own brush.
Not having any ideas about how to improve on this, I will say that
you have done well. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Warrior Princess
Sun, 2022-08-21 11:32
Geezer thank you for sharing
Geezer thank you for sharing your perspective on this piece. Most appreciative
Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "
Rosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2022-08-21 06:36
Super Job
A little different. I like the rhythm of this one. Excellent job. It really bounces along on every affirmation that it makes.
Nice job,
Tim
Warrior Princess
Sun, 2022-08-21 11:33
Tim thank you for sharing
Tim thank you for sharing your comment and encouraging words.
Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "
Jackweb
Sun, 2022-08-21 16:03
Good one!
Very beautiful and wonderful words as long as the pulse of your creative and elegant pen and handed over to you..
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Warrior Princess
Sun, 2022-08-28 07:53
Jackweb thank you for taking
Jackweb thank you for taking the time to read this piece and for your comment. It is most appreciated.
Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "