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The Wall

Submitted by chevyvent on Wed, 2017-04-05 19:13

Capitalism
North Korea
Tear Down The Wall
Trump is on the mountain

Lines are being drawn in the sand
When to understand
we can't keep sticking it to the man
Burning bridges

faces, space & burning the midnight oil
taking to long to watch the water boil
Have we forgotten our true freedom,
lies dormant stretched the imagination

A hero's welcome has been long forgotten
Try to forget about Ben Laden
there's a fork in the road along life's journey
A challenge to be free is a question of time

Learn to gather the hands together
Black & White
search with all your hearts
To ignite the flame to light the torch to what were waiting for

No more clowns, fake news & Marie Tyler Moore
lest I implore another open door
tear down the wall all ready
Seek truth with everything you got !

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Keith Logan

Thu, 2017-04-06 16:03

Keith Logan's picture
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Do you not observe the inconsistency of throwing out a strong critique in your subject matter and at the same time asking that what you have written not receive a similar standard in response?

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

themoonman

Thu, 2017-04-06 19:22

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I'm just going to say it, there seem to be
lines that repeat in several of your poems ...
have you noticed that? Sometimes it is because
the writer is stuck, writing the same subject
matter until it's over ... is that what is going
on?

"lines being drawn in the sand" not only is it
cliche but as I've said, I've seen it in or lines
very close in several of your poems.

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