Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Cumbersome To This World
Illusion
a plate of fries
shoes, socks, magnets, bugs & number two pencil
we gravitate through a smile
a push to take us closer
when we get in then we will see
a slut as a street walker
the peril of the night
they hide behind the garb of lust
climax
exposed to the elements
a straw to suck it all in
the film on the dross take a napkin
shadows beckoning call
illusion
I have become cumbersome to this world
to my girl
a clock suddenly turns
the outpouring of desolate cries
shades of black torn
fragments are kept in my diary
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2017-03-05 12:59
The images...
you convey, just everyday items but nonetheless, significant. The significance being in the fact that they are so ordinary. Just didn't get the phrase; [a clock suddenly turns] I'm sure that it has some relevance, [maybe the movement of the hands?]. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.