Et elle a commencé à chanter ...

              Nuit la plus sombre est là ...

this is a really rough draft of a story about a dream i had. it was amazing but comes and goes in bits and pieces so i'm trying to take it slow and roll with it.    

i stood there in the steep driveway; counting the seconds by the blinking of the big arrow pointing toward the door rather than the clock hanging on the wall. just standing there while the eighth wonder of the world played out in front of me -- car after car after car after car speeding by -- in Gilboa. GILBOA, where the only traffic jams are three car line ups behind temporary road work stop lights. this amazing thing made me think for some reason: where are my friends right now? most likely not waiting for a historical event to end.

so what's this "nature" thing again?
so wait, i'm supposed to feel that?
and you just said i can't - ? what?
whatever. makes no sense, but WHATEVER.
no, i'm not going to.
what's it matter if i feel it or not?
i wouldn't. not yet anyway.
no! not with them!
i'm telling you, it doesn't matter.
i see him as a teddy bear and teddy bears are not anatomically correct.
no i haven't thought about it.
yes, i just did, you happy?
well you just made me think about it!

i can always say that i'm mad at my mom. for whatever reason i'm angry, no matter how petty, i can always trace it back to her just being HER (CAPS for lack of italics). and i understand that that's just how it is sometimes. i've known since i was twelve that my mother and i are maybe one inch off of being EXACTLY the same; although if you know both of us on deeper levels you would beg to differ.

am i supposed to complain or something? i honestly have no idea what i'm doing. i could let you in on the GCCS highschool drama, but i think i'll stick with just my friends for now. with all the stress that school is bringing, i'm not so sure of myself anymore. my friend from long island says to me, "where did the self confident girl i used to know go, because i'd like to see her again. what happened to singing just because you love to and not listening to your parents when they put you down?" i told her i didn't know, because that's the truth.