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the scribbler
Sitting sequestered in his chair
cheap pen poised to write a line
which he'll pluck from the thin air;
unschooled, unlearned how can he dare
to try to write a poem that's fine?
At once his pen drops to lined page.
A thought enters his empty head
a thought of beauty (he shuns the rage)
written with no regard for its gauge
using only how it sounds instead.
He's quite an unmetrical man
syllabic count is past his range
rhythm random as dust swirled by fan
most writes worthy of naught but trash can.
When read aloud his poems sound strange.
The sad part is even he knows
his scribbles are far from the best
yet his piles of poems don't cease to grow
(he collects the things like a dumb crow)
and hopes to one day pass the test.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Roscoe Lane
Fri, 2012-06-29 13:38
You have,
You have surpassed the test many times over in my eyes Stan, it's good to see you looking in for a change. And it seems we don't differ so very much, note book and pen at the ready waiting for the words or ideas. Nice almost biographical write, Regards Roscoe..
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Fri, 2012-06-29 13:52
Hi Roscoe
Thanks for saying so. Sorry I've not been around much. Business has kept me hopping lately for a change lol.But I'll try to be around more often..................stan
Roscoe Lane
Sat, 2012-06-30 03:35
Stan,
Stan i think I may have put it the wrong way, when i said looking in. I meant that you were writing about scribbler, and not about what scibbler see's around him. Sorry for any confusion. Regards Roscoe....
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Sat, 2012-06-30 07:07
hi Roscoe
No problem. I've been tired enough lately that I'm easy to confuse lol.................stan
Ian.T
Sat, 2012-06-30 03:46
Stan
We seem to have walked Parallel lines:-
He's quite an unmetrical man
syllabic count is past his range
rhythm random as dust swirled by fan
most writes worth of naught but trash can
when read aloud his poems sound strange
How could you write of me in such a loving way, thank you so very much lol.
Should you be in every workshop, but then again my long teeth keep getting in the way, and uncontrolled dribbles make nasty marks on the paper, lol.
Well thought out, Yours, Ian. Toothless
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
scribbler
Sat, 2012-06-30 07:11
Hi Ian
This is titled "scribbler" not "dribbler" so it should be obvious it's not about you lol. Thanks for dropping by..........stan
Ian.T
Thu, 2013-09-19 18:59
Stan the man
Damn I thought I had been noticed , I am going into a dark room for a long while and Dribble my little heart out...I thought there were typo's in one of your stanzas which I was going to ask you to correct but ....
He's quite an unmetrical Ian
syllabic count is past his range
rhythm random as dust swirled by Ian
most writes worth of naught but trash Ian
when read aloud his poems sound strange
.
See what I mean lol
.
Sparrow here Yenti and Ian.T have gone away some place and they forgot to tell me, I will see if I can find them but don't know why I bother,
Yours Sparrow
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
scribbler
Thu, 2013-09-19 23:13
lol
name's Ian right?
Ian.T
Fri, 2013-09-20 06:51
Stan
We had a group photo taken, Ian is always the one on the left,right, OK .
It's, Ian.T, Sparrow and then Yenti in alphabetical order.
Now they are coming back I will scoot,
Yours Sparrow, I have a Robin to shoot..
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Tam the Chanter
Sat, 2012-06-30 09:50
Scribbled gold
Stan, you summed it up creatively, the poet's eternal wait for inspiration.It sometimes feels like a clay pigeon stuffed with rhymes is waiting for me to call "pull!" and then to try to hit the bloody thing before it disappears forever, trailing a fountain of burst verse behind it
Ian (not Ian T!)
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA
scribbler
Sat, 2012-06-30 11:34
Hi other Ian lol
Yes it seems as if they await our feeling secure enought to set them loose doesn't it? Thanks for coming by.........stan
Ian.T
Fri, 2013-09-20 06:57
Ian.T here
I have one of those Mexican things that you hang up.
It is full of poetry and you have to beat seven shades of S--- out of it to release some poetry.
Sparrow has stolen the stick something about making a bow out of it, I thought you used ribbon for that.
Take care both love you all, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Rula
Sat, 2012-06-30 10:40
You have passed the test long ago
A way to go Stan..I like your sense of humor both in writing and commenting..
My favorite
The sad part is even he knows
his scribbles are far from the best
yet his piles of poems don't cease to grow
(he collects the things like a dumb crow)
and hopes to one day pass the test
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
scribbler
Sat, 2012-06-30 11:37
Hi Rula
If we can't laugh at ourselves it's a pretty sad thing isn't it? Thanks for reading and dropping off such kind comment............stan
mand
Thu, 2013-09-19 04:56
Husband says your poem is
Husband says your poem is very witty!
Russell ( that is )
scribbler
Thu, 2013-09-19 17:45
Hi Mandy
There's a typo in that last word. Should be an S where the W is.............stan
mand
Fri, 2013-09-20 04:12
Ha ha
Not true!
mand
Thu, 2013-09-19 04:56
Husband says your poem is
Husband says your poem is very witty!
Russell ( that is )
mand
Thu, 2013-09-19 04:45
Yes indeed
I know the feeling - as do many poets - and how frustrating it is. You have nothing to worry about though because when the thoughts flow you produce some wonderful gems!
Love Mand xxxxxx
scribbler
Thu, 2013-09-19 17:46
hello
Always surprizes me when I edit something and then get some comments on it. Appreciate the visit..........stan
wesley snow
Thu, 2015-10-29 17:55
You know better.
.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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scribbler
Thu, 2015-10-29 22:42
H wes
I'm all the time going back and reviewing my old stuff then, often, finding a good place to change something. And often the change is Very minor which then leads to my surprise that it draws comment..........maybe some comments are from folks who didn't read it first time around?.......stan
Eumolpus
Wed, 2019-05-22 00:35
Having not seen this poem before..
Anyone can learn meter and syllable counts, it ain't brain surgery. I am working on a youtube project poet who just published a book on poetic meter which i will share with you. But you must understand, its not only about rhyme. Meter is what makes it dance. Anyone can learn to dance. You don't have to be Fred Astaire.
One idea is just get metronome and read your poem to it stressing where you feel it fits.
Without inner pace, music, or or whatever its called, that is the magic behind the poetry. Just get up one day and say "today I will learn what a foot is" and start there.
I don't accept your poem. Its a cop out. You're better than that. You basically get it, you've been writing enough. Why tell us you're giving up with learning the craft? As Joe Pass said of the jazz scales and modes, you MUST learn them so that when you are playing jazz you have them built into you, and you forget them.
..
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Wed, 2019-05-22 10:41
Hi
Please take note that this poem is an old one which just came up due to adding punctuation which I never used early on. But being lectures on scansion is always a good reminder to pay attention to it lol