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The manifest of vitality, rewritten
Can you dream about the dead?
I ask the sunset, while she fleshes
at night and settles in shadow-colours.
Can you digest this bony reality,
like a dog, like a buddha, like a cross
on a Sunday morning?
I ask Schrödinger's Cat, while he purrs like
a drunken gutar, and pointed to a vision
in the harsh sky.
The savannah trembles in agony,
for the big Subjective awakes.
How to frame the honey-coloured clouds?
I ask Yggradsil, the tree with the many leaves;
he didn't reply, but sinks in a prayer,
made of a substance I never thought before.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-05-04 11:40
Hello,
Pleased to meet you! Great title, by the way. I don't know who all those people are that you mentioned so i suppose I will have to look them up, to satisfy my curiosity. Thanks for expanding my mind! My favorite lines are:
I ask Schrödinger's Cat, while he purrs like
a drunken gitar, and pointed to a vision
in the harsh sky.
suggestion: I think gitar should be guitar.
Love the ending lines. see you around neo!
always, Cat
*
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And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Nevel
Wed, 2011-05-04 17:45
thank you Cat for your
thank you Cat for your comment...ahh, a small typo, I still think in Dutch I think. For the names in the poem, Schrödinger was a quantum fysicus tried to prove the paradoxal nature of the quatum mechanic by setting up a test with a cat (not a real one)..Yggradril is the world-tree from the Nordish mythology, which connect all worlds, that of the gods, men, giants. Greetings, Erwin
(a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
Janice Pearce
Wed, 2011-05-04 18:38
Nevel
I enjoyed reading this one from you. Great writing!
Nevel
Sun, 2011-05-15 13:10
Thank you Janice
Thank you Janice