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Elephants (inspired by Aesthetic Night)
Heavy memories
Elephants meandering
Through a grass less plain
Footprints fossilized
Impressions in mud and clay
Artifacts of pain
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Inspired by the way Aesthetic Night’s poem ‘Elephants!’ made me feel.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Mon, 2023-03-20 11:15
dear Tim,
I was very interested to see your take on John's Elephants. I am glad that you kept it 'real'
* ever eddy
excellent!
*love & hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-03-20 17:36
A great take
on a great poem! Well done!
~RoseBlack~
Jackweb
Tue, 2023-03-21 11:36
So deep!
Concisely written, with great metaphor of Elephant. This suggests something deeper... I think, this has a hidden undertone. Beautiful!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2023-03-21 11:48
Thank you
You are correct, there’s something underneath. I appreciate the comment and the read. Thank you.
Tim
Jackweb
Tue, 2023-03-21 12:08
You're welcome
I knew it.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Leslie
Tue, 2023-03-21 12:14
Elephants
A moving poem. When you see a young one does it make you smile.
It causes elation to see the care they receive their mothers.
Sometimes I feel a little like crying.
The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!