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Vampire Lair
One foggy night you heard the call,
In forest deep it would befall,
That you'd be lured into the deep,
Ambling forth while fast asleep,
And as you felt a gentle touch,
In dream-like state you thought as such,
That it would be a handsome prince,
With tender words he did convince,
Until you woke to find him there,
With blazing eyes and famished stare,
While razor fangs gave end to life,
Heed not the call that makes grim rife.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Wed, 2022-10-26 15:24
Yes, yes...
I see your strength here. You are a good storyteller, and I would love to see you do a lengthy one! Nice stuff, in a hard to keep going rhyme scheme of two-line rhyming.
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
C. Wolff
Wed, 2022-10-26 15:27
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much!
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-10-26 15:31
hello and well met...
well done, very well done indeed! I want more, lol, I'm greedy and you spin a yarn that is inviting to the max power!!!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
C. Wolff
Wed, 2022-10-26 15:32
Thanks a bunch!! :)
Thanks a bunch!! :)
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-10-26 17:02
Excellent job
What a great quick read. It’s practically perfect sorry bout the Poppins pun.
Stupendous rhythm,
Tim
C. Wolff
Thu, 2022-10-27 08:18
lol! Thx!! :)
lol! Thx!! :)
Lavender
Wed, 2022-10-26 18:00
Vampire Lair
I agree that you are a true story-teller! You bring a lot of eeriness to this fun rhyming poem. I enjoyed every line, and like a thirsty vampire - I vanted more!
Thank you!
L
C. Wolff
Thu, 2022-10-27 08:18
Thanks!! I appreciate it! :)
Thanks!! I appreciate it! :)
RoseBlack
Wed, 2022-10-26 18:11
Well done
An excellent story that leaves your reader wanting more. I would take a vampire over a prince any day! Good job!
~RoseBlack~
C. Wolff
Thu, 2022-10-27 08:19
Thank you so much!!
Thank you so much!!
Ifeanyichukwu O...
Thu, 2022-10-27 10:48
I want some more! More story,
I want some more! More story, more rhymes, more ooey goooey flowing and thrilling stanzas.
Enjoyable read!
Well done!
C. Wolff
Thu, 2022-10-27 13:46
lol! Thx :)
lol! Thx :)