Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Pentameter of the Heart
Beating in time like a galloping trot
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Drumming it’s sure song with all it has got
Token light pounding resides in your chest
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Speeds up when you’re active, scared or distressed
Booming bass drummer not so confident
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
A lone heart explodes, it’s cold armor rent
The fastest of all the songs it has played
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
The mile I ran or the love that we made
Always goes calm whilst I lie close to you
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Surrounded by light and love that’s so true
I cherish the moments our hearts beat as one
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Gather them close lest our love comes undone
Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-06-30 07:32
dear Tim,
nice title, great construction. tougher than it seams huh? it feels like it just rolled right off your pen and tongue...so get your pen out of your mouth!!! (just kidding) the pacing is fine. I liked these lines best:
Always goes calm whilst I’m lying with you
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Surrounded by light and love that’s so true
it goes down lightly...Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Thu, 2022-06-30 08:36
I like it!...
Nothing to criticise here! As nice a love poem as I've have heard! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-06-30 18:36
Good job
A sweet love poem. Well written. I am quickly becoming a fan
~RoseBlack~
Jackweb
Thu, 2022-06-30 21:33
Truly ...
I can feel the taste of this poem.
Nice composition!
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb