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Mutations of Living Ones is Evolution
Mutations of Living Ones is Evolution
....nothing else is ordained for bacteria like agents
but mutate day in day out
with folks different
their cultures must become inherent
in mutations followed by another one
life's ways are multi
not a single one
but evolution is the only alternate
to any existence
we today's products become sub and system of another
if I may add
experienced or intelligent generation
repeating the same pattern of act
for millennia to come
believe me not
how can anyone I force
most have diffused brains
fuses burnt
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2021-06-04 07:50
Pretty rough...
I think you should refine this by re-writing the lines of:
"[and] evolution is the alternate...
"We become sub and system of the others"
Delete [If I may add] it adds nothing to the line before or after it.
"Experienced and intelligent generations
repeating the same pattern for millennia to come."
"how can I force anyone?"
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lovedly
Fri, 2021-06-04 10:31
ok Gee
shall do
as I evolve to satisfy you
my mentor
Ray Whitaker
Fri, 2021-06-04 11:54
Has a couple of spots I’d polish, however
I like the flow of this.
S4 L4 could use a “with” at the beginning… “with fuses burnt”
S3 L4 could become “using the same acts and patterns”
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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lovedly
Fri, 2021-06-04 17:34
Thanks Ray
shall look into it having compy probs since morning
sorry
lovedly
Sat, 2021-06-05 11:29
computor packing up
may not interact for a while buying afresh or gift bye for now all