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The ways of the days of the corona virus (August contest)
One we’re here in the pleasant valley.
Oh No Corona’s going up our alley.
We’re here at Two
What Do We Do?
we run as quick as can be .
Well here we go again going up to Three.
Three we heard something like several lions .
Oh No here comes the red raging sirens.
We’re here at Four sitting on the floor.
“BANG! HEY OPEN UP”
Oh No there’s a RiOT! at our door.
They broke down our door and blasted us all to bits.
can’t have a funeral so we’re going on to Six.
Hey wait a minute they never found a fix .
So we jumped off Six.
Now we’re here on To Seven.
What Do We Do?
we’re going up to Heaven.
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Here is a melody or song I wrote About corona or what happened during the time of corona.
I wrote this because I see the only way to find enjoyment or your only way keep my sanity is to make fun of the situation and mostly writing
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Gracy
Mon, 2020-08-10 10:47
Good one, Edward. Prose
Good one, Edward. Prose poetry, as usual. Wish you luck in the contest. All the best, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
Edward nigma
Mon, 2020-08-10 12:03
Thank you
You to
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
c lynn brooks
Tue, 2020-08-11 10:28
suggestion
shortn your sentences or use line breaks
Chrys
check out our chat room open to all 24/7
Edward nigma
Tue, 2020-08-11 11:51
I tried to fix I hope it is better
I edited it you might look at it you might not let’s see.
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
lovedly
Sat, 2020-08-15 19:06
very nice
coming from just a kid
@15
Hope you win
Edward nigma
Sat, 2020-08-15 19:45
Thank you
Thank you
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
Ray Whitaker
Mon, 2020-08-17 16:23
Hmmm....
Just some ideas... group the verse together... utilize white space a bit less, and for emphasis.... find a continuity in the words towards the lines using the numbers...
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Edward nigma
Mon, 2020-08-17 17:45
Thank you
Okay
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.