Workshops on Neopoet are groups that meet for a certain period of time to focus on a certain aspect of poetry. Each workshop participant is asked to critique all the other poems submitted into a workshop. A workshop leader helps coordinate -- they set the agenda, give participants feedback on whether their submissions and critique are at they level expected of them, and after the workshop is over, give feedback to participants.
To join a workshop, first find one that is of interest to you. Once you have found the right workshop (and verified that it is open -- you can find this out in the description below), you can apply to join the workshop.
Comments
wesley snow
Fri, 2015-12-11 13:34
Found you.
Okay, now I'm not going to start this. I need some data and examples of the continuity. Which of the forms do we use?
Can anyone just add to the poem (renga) or should they be listed in the workshop?
Do we post on this thread or in submissions? What is the format for keeping the poem together?
Someone else has to start the subject matter.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-11 15:48
Great questions
There are three forms of Japanese poems that will be used; haiku, senyru, tanka.
Theme will be haiku or senyru. Subject will be idea from the first person submission.
Yes, anyone can add to the Renga who wants to. They don't need to be listed.
All post will be done in the comment section not on the thread. For format; the first person post their poem in the comments section the second then third and so on.
The moderator will keep a file of the renga poem add to stream in order of submissions.
Any one can choose a theme. once theme is decided everyone will write a poem that compliments the poem before it.
After a week or so I will end the poem and there will be a week or so to refine the renga for final posting to the stream.
Everyone gets to see the poem come to life in the stream. But only leader and moderators will edit and post the one entire renga poem to stream.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-11 15:48
Great questions
There are three forms of Japanese poems that will be used; haiku, senyru, tanka.
Theme will be haiku or senyru. Subject will be idea from the first person submission.
Yes, anyone can add to the Renga who wants to. They don't need to be listed.
All post will be done in the comment section not on the thread. For format; the first person post their poem in the comments section the second then third and so on.
The moderator will keep a file of the renga poem add to stream in order of submissions.
Any one can choose a theme. once theme is decided everyone will write a poem that compliments the poem before it.
After a week or so I will end the poem and there will be a week or so to refine the renga for final posting to the stream.
Everyone gets to see the poem come to life in the stream. But only leader and moderators will edit and post the one entire renga poem to stream.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-11 15:50
More questions
Ask away here before the renga start
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Fri, 2015-12-11 23:38
Barbara
can you remind me again the difference between haiku and senryu? I thought one is about people and the other about nature but both of your examples are more inclined to nature.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2015-12-12 07:12
Yes
Haiku has no human tones in it at all
Senyru can be about anything including haiku but it has human tones.
Example haiku;
water on rooftop
rapidly poured to the ground
craved water puddle.
Senyru;
water on rooftop
loud as it falls to the ground
carved water puddle.
Sticking to strict Japanese poetry is hard and takes a lot of effort. Most today don't stick to it so closely, but write according to their personal style. That's fine, but some like me prefer to be technical though not always in every forms of poetry.
Rules are simple;
haiku and senyru is 5/7/5 syllables per line, 3 lines of verses
tanka is 5/7/5/7/7 syllables per line, 5 lines of verses.
renga is eternal stanzas of haiku or senyru and tanka. The longest renga I've read I think was 99 stanzas, don't quote me.
I believe personal style defines you as a poet separate from other poets, which is a good thing. That's what this workshop is about. I've formatted it based on strict Japanese poetry "renga". Participants learn 5 forms; haiku, senyru, tanka and renga. Some like to mix haiku and senyru which p is okay, but I feel it stray to far from the original structure of Japanese poetry.
I've modernize it to allow for poets different personal styles, make it easier and fun for novice to advanced poets alike.
Alid you are good at this.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-12 12:23
Barbara
a few titles come to mind. Perhaps you might like to think it through.
Life As it is..
Dreams For Tomorrow
Voices Of Neopoet
Colours Of The Heart
A Song For Peace..
Alid
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-12 20:02
Barbara
to be fair, I think we cancel the Voices of Neopoet from the list of suggestion, otherwise it's a no go for the practice of haiku.
Alid
wesley snow
Sat, 2015-12-12 13:41
So we're looking for a theme?
I like "voices of NeoPoet", but I think it might be over hard and since that would involve humans that eliminates haiku... right?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-12 16:21
Wes
I think you're right.
Alid
raj
Sun, 2015-12-13 13:05
Dreams for Tomorrow
deleted
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Sun, 2015-12-13 13:04
Colors of the Heart
deleted
raj (sublime_ocean)
raj
Sun, 2015-12-13 13:04
The Song of Peace
deleted
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-12 16:10
Raj
bravo! bravo! bravo!
Let's wait for Barbara to decide which is best.
Alid
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-12 16:18
Voices of Neopoets
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Sparrow
Sat, 2015-12-12 19:34
Barbara My start for a write..
Feet touch the earth
My mind touches the world
Thinking a new way
Take time for your words to form
Lets touch the new world now.
I shall rewrite as the title is decided,
Yours as always, Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-12 19:56
Ian
first verse is short of one syllable.
the second verse in the couplet is also short of one syllable.
Alid
Sparrow
Sun, 2015-12-13 04:14
Alid,
Thanks for your read and notice there are two syllables adrift in the whole piece but mine seem to come back with 5-7-5-7-7 The last piece for the compilation needed adjusting..
Touch is I suspect a problem to my counter it is two syllables, but if we realise that when western people write these things, there is a bit of leeway in the syllable count.
Just to sort out my piece where are the two errors ??
It will help with later writes,
Many thanks,
Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
alidzain
Sun, 2015-12-13 04:39
Ian
Feet touch the earth
hmmm. I'm very certain "feet" is one syllable. As for "touch", I checked the online dictionary and it came out as one syllable count
Sparrow
Wed, 2015-12-16 19:35
Barbara
Alid to start, then Wesley and then yourself then I have added mine,
I have put it together, the other three were written but the poets seem to have taken their entry off after I had copied them to this page ????
Voices Of Neopoet
Poet's gathering
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew
The hearts share a common bond
between mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Each beat of heart sings
the moment each life begins
heard only in peace
Listen to the melody
of this beautiful heart song
Anon
The heart bleeds in hues
in shades of pink and the blues
swinging with the moods
The blues vanish like magic
no sooner two hearts blush pink
Anon
Birds stir in their nest
awakening dreamy eyed
in silken sunlight
Pruning their feathers swiftly
prepares to soar the skies
Anon
Yours Ian..xx
Just a thought to start the ball rolling I assembled the ones we have so far and they make quite good sense, it is late 00-45am I will syllable check tomorrow,
Yours as always Ian xx
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-12-16 21:53
Okay
Who is Anon, would he or her have a problem posting here on this workshop with you, that way we all can get to know him or her. Working outside the workshop defeats the purpose of bringing poets together. Would you agree?
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Sparrow
Thu, 2015-12-17 04:04
Barbara
The Anon pieces were posted on this Renga stream by some of our Neopoet poets, but I have forgotten who wrote them, one I think was raj, but it matters not if they removed their work after I copied and pasted into a one piece collaboration, so we can ignore them unless they wish to identify themselves again, I just give up, I put a few moments work into this one and it has deteriated by others not being interested enough, so there is nothing more I can do.
I have much work to do, and when some think its OK to waste time and flit around like spoilt children what else can I do but give up..
Sorry but if you read the whole thing the Renga was coming on fine, so I will leave the rest up to yourself, Yours as always, Ian xx
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-12-16 21:52
Thanks Ian
I'll add you poem but not theirs bc they may not want yo be apart of the renga if they removed it from your page.
Any member on Neopoet site can add a poem to the renga they must add it here in the comment section to be apart of the renga poem itself.
When they do so, I'll add them as a participant so they can get updates. Members can add one or more as they choose.
Alid and myself is here to help all who want to join with any questions they may have.
Would you like to be moderator? You seem to know members who have an interest in writing collaborative poetry. Bring them here instead of your thread so we can get to know them.
If they don't want to do that then they can just just drop in and out. It seems they only want to interact with you; as a moderator, that's fine with me. I ask that you do it here so we all are involved in this workshop and poems includes all the requirements of the workshop which is minimal at best. Alid his here to help with that bc my eyes can't keep up with everything.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Sparrow
Thu, 2015-12-17 04:10
Barbara
All the pieces I put on my comment piece were from our poets that streamed to your Workshop and then for some reason took their work off after I had put them in some order just to help out, but somehow they withdrew their pieces why I have no idea, and at that time I didn't put their names to their writes as I did yesterday so they became Anon, maybe a general Blog will get some answers, Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2015-12-17 23:07
I'm sorry this happened to you
If you like just post yours. Those who want to join the workshop can post here in comment section or in comments on the poem on the stream. I thought I put up blog but can't seem to find it at the moment. There's may have been there
That way I can see. I can't add ppl poems who don't want to be know by everyone here. The renga will be up for while for anyone who wants to stop in and add there poem to the renga.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Sun, 2015-12-13 14:10
I am so in over my head...
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-12-16 13:53
Thanks Alid
For carrying on with the ws in my absent.
Thanks Ian. You have many. It would be more fun to give one at a time for it to be a collaborative.
Then give another after someone has given theirs.
I'll check through and structure yours, Wesley, Alid and mines to start it off.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Sparrow
Wed, 2015-12-16 19:20
Barbara
I had taken each of the submitted pieces and listed them in my comment if you read through the whole of my stream you will find all the parts are from each poet that wrote..
A collaborated write is what this one is..
I will let you read and sort out, there is just yours and Wesley's that need to be added, Yours Ian..xx
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-12-16 22:04
Theme decided
Alid tanka will start off the renga.
Voices Of Neopoets
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Ian I see your start of the renga. I've structured it according to a few rules. Would you add one of yours from your write to complement my and Wesley dual written tanka. Wesley wrote the senyru and I added a couplet.
There are several ways to write the renga. One person write the haiku or senyru. Another can write just a couplet to add to a haiku or senyru or write just a tanka.
The main format is many add to this one poem renga.
Sounds complicated I know. But lots of fun.
I'll add this to the stream then come back later for yours Ian. I hope you see where I'm going with this. You are my most zealous participant and glad you are always here to support these workshops
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Wed, 2015-12-16 14:47
Barbara
i don't mind using my tanka AS THE FIRST but I wonder if it will be able to allow us to do it in haiku. i don't know how we'll be able to practice haiku as well on this.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-12-16 21:30
Thanks Alid
Haiku and Senyru can't be used in the same Renga. It's either Haiku Renga or Senyru Renga. The term voices and som others automatically render this Renga a Senyru because this Renga is a coming together of poets poetic voices.
Voices can also be render a Haiku if voices of animals or sounds of anything in nature that not human. Human emotions, ideas, feeling, thoughts, concern etc. is always Senyru.
It easier to do one at a time haiku or senyru.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Wed, 2015-12-16 15:54
Oh man, do I have questions.
First, let me understand correctly. We wanted senyru. I wrote a haiku and Barbara added a couplet to turn mine into a senyru. Do I understand this technical part correctly?
Next, doesn't enjambment (which many poets are using) change a syllable count somehow? Is the syllable count by line alone and not thought? Does that make sense?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
alidzain
Wed, 2015-12-16 17:19
Wes
If haiku has no human tones at all, then yours is actually senryu. I mean "poets" are already describing humans.
Senryu and haiku have same syllablle counts 5-7-5
once a couplet is added to them it becomes a tanka, not senryu or haiku.
A tanka can be either haiku-based or senryu-based, depending on which did the writer choose to begin it.
Tanka syllable count is 5-7-5-7-7.
Enjambments doesn't change the syllable counts.
Please reconfirm with Barbara, just in case I made a mistake.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-12-16 18:04
Enjambment
New word Wes. I like that word.
Alid is correct. In his explanation. Wesley I didn't turn yours into a senyru bc it already was senyru by nature of the theme, poet voices. Had the theme been bird voices for example, it would be haiku.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-12-16 18:15
Thanks for the participation
This workshop like all the others is a training tool to learn different types of Japanese poetry; Haiku, Senyru, Tanka and Renga in this particular workshop.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-20 00:17
Voices Of Neopoets
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
Raj
Great senyru Alid; I love this. I can't stop reading its brilliance.
Wesley do you want to add a couplet that compliments this wonderful piece?
It works for each participant to add a poem to the last one in order, but not required in that order.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Sat, 2015-12-19 17:44
My couplet:
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they had begun.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-20 00:58
Great couplet
Think you can write a senyru to add after raj's tanka then add your couplet to it. You got couplet down. Lets see your senyru plus the couplet. Wala you'll have a tanka.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Sun, 2015-12-20 08:38
Barbara
Let imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
wesley snow
Sat, 2015-12-19 17:46
I think "imagery"...
is generally pronounced with but three syllables. "I/ma/gry".
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-20 00:04
Imagery dance
Didn't notice but I think Wesley is right I see 3 syllables in imagery.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Fri, 2015-12-18 13:05
Imagery dance
Imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
alike letting a kite loose
poets set free emotions
*
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-18 21:25
Thanks for your addition raj
It is a beautiful one. In all fairness I asked Wesley to add a couplet to alid's senyru. I'm holding his hand, lol, in this workshop since it's out of his comfort zone.
I know you got this. Would you like for me to add a senyru or you write one yourself to add to your couplet.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Sat, 2015-12-19 13:12
Hi Barbara
Appreciate what you have said. That's perfectly alright. I will try to add a senryu to the couplet I had initially made for Alid's Senryu...would be a challenge to go the other way round...lol..
how about this?
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
*
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-19 13:20
Raj
hi raj, this is a wonderful addition but its not senryu, its a tanka! Nothing wrong there. I just want to point out the difference. Tanka is actually Senryu/Haiku + couplets. Good job!
Alid
raj
Sat, 2015-12-19 14:10
Thanks Alid...
Thanks Alid...
If you read earlier message of Barbara, she has mentioned that instead of a couplet I had made as addition to the Senryu of Wes, she added the couplet of Wes, which was fine. I therefore went the other way round and added the senryu to the (modified) couplet to make it a tanka..Hope this explains...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-19 14:58
ok
my bad.
Alid
wesley snow
Fri, 2015-12-18 14:55
Is this okay?
I used enjambment, but it doesn't matter right?
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
alidzain
Fri, 2015-12-18 16:10
Wes
its okay except for the fact you need to have a senryu before this couplet since raj has given the couplets for mine.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-18 21:11
Enjambment
Yes Enjambment is okay. Lotus another new word I find fiting for this senyru.
In all fairness, I did ask you to add the couplet to Alid's Senyru. It works and is beautiful.
Lotus I can just imagine many water lilies, dark pink, white and pink flowers in an Asian lake somewhere. Neopoet voices are sacred lotus here in this pool
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-20 00:24
Voices Of Neopoets
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
alike letting a kite loose
poets set free emotions
raj (sublime_ocean)
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-19 13:26
Barbara
Barbara, we need a senryu in between
"as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
alike letting a kite loose
poets set free emotions
raj (sublime_ocean)"
Alid
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-20 00:07
Yes
Anyone want to add one. I'll insert it.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-20 10:37
Voices Of Neopoets
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Let imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
Raj
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they had begun.
W. H. Snow
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-20 10:26
Thanks alid
Easy fix
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Sun, 2015-12-20 10:31
no prob
barbara.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2015-12-21 18:36
Voices Of Neopoets
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Let imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
Raj
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they'd begun.
W. H. Snow
Ok Wesley I'm waiting for you to add a senyru to your couplet. Looking forward to seeing your tanka.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Sun, 2015-12-20 14:00
Barbra & Wesley
returning where they had begun is eight syllable
raj (sublime_ocean)
wesley snow
Sun, 2015-12-20 16:10
You're right.
Can anyone fix it? I'll try, but I need senryu described to me again.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
alidzain
Sun, 2015-12-20 17:29
Wes
change "returning where they had begun" to "returning where they'd begun".
Alid
raj
Mon, 2015-12-21 13:20
Alid in my opinion your
Alid in my opinion your suggestion won't fix the vowel count problem because "they'd" would still count as 2 syllables and the syllable count of the line as 8
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Mon, 2015-12-21 16:57
raj
I thought the syllable count refers to the sound, so if it's can be considered one syllable, why not they'd? Tell you what, lets hope barbara has an answer for this.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2015-12-21 18:33
I considered it one syllable
According to merriam Webster it's one. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/they'd
I'll look in other dialects to see they say. There are many dialects here so I'll make exceptions for those that show me different
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Tue, 2015-12-22 13:34
Akid
I read Barbara's comment....I stand corrected.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
wesley snow
Thu, 2015-12-24 19:03
How?
That is a good change. How do I edit it?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
raj
Mon, 2015-12-21 13:33
Wesley I am no expert but I
Wesley I am no expert but I will explain my understanding of what is Senryu, Haiku, Tanka and Renga
Haiku has a syllable count sequence of 5-7-5 in the three verses but it should be purely related to nature / natural element with absolutely not even a hint about human element in any of the three lines
Senryu also has a syllable count sequence of 5-7-5 in the three verses but it generally about a human aspect /elements. It may or may not have a connection with nature elements / words.
If you add 2 seven syllable lines to either a Haiku or a Senryu it becomes a Tanka
A poem made up of several Tankas is a Renga
Barbara can confirm if what I have said above its correct.
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2015-12-21 18:09
Wonderful wonderful raj
I couldn't have explained it any better.
Just one more point to renga. Renga must consist of a minimum of two or more ppl to be considered a renga. The japanese wanted to bring poets together with haiku poems by adding a couplet making it a tanka, thus renga was created.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-25 12:42
Voices Of Neopoet
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Let imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
Raj
Winds of thought are strong.
Tornadoes are the poets.
A breeze or a squall.
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they'd begun.
W. H. Snow
Ok Wesley I'm waiting for you to add a senyru to your couplet. Looking forward to seeing your tanka.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Thu, 2015-12-24 19:09
Is this even close?
Winds of thought are strong.
Tornadoes are the poets.
A breeze or a squall.
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they'd begun.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
raj
Fri, 2015-12-25 12:29
Thumbs up Wesley Regards,
Thumbs up Wesley
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-25 12:40
Beautiful Wesley
I knew you could do.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-25 13:02
Mines
Voices of poets
Come blend your poetic voice
Japanese poetry.
Write haiku, senyru, tanka
Create whimsical renga.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-25 13:29
Voices Of Neopoet
Poet's gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Let imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
Raj
Winds of thought are strong.
Tornadoes are the poets.
A breeze or a squall.
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they'd begun.
W. H. Snow
Voices of poets
Come blend your poetic voice
Japanese poetry.
Write haiku, senyru, tanka
Create whimsical renga.
Rhythm of heart beats
echoes in vivid verses
dark or romantic
stirring liquid emotions
within cockles of the heart
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Fri, 2015-12-25 13:21
how about this?
Rhythm of heart beats
echoes in vivid verses
dark or romantic
stirring liquid emotions
within cockles of the heart
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-25 13:23
Sounds good to me.
Good job raj
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-27 03:13
Voices of poets
Poets gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poets sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Let imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
Raj
Winds of thought are strong.
Tornadoes are the poets.
A breeze or a squall.
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they'd begun.
W. H. Snow
Voices of poets
Come blend your poetic voice
Japanese poetry.
Write haiku, senyru, tanka
Create whimsical renga.
Rhythm of heart beats
echoes in vivid verses
dark or romantic
stirring liquid emotions
within cockles of the heart
Together we speak
the language of the bards here
to share our stories
We are actors in our stage,
displaying dedications.
Alid
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Fri, 2015-12-25 14:44
Barbara
there's a mistake in the first verse of this senryu from the second tanka. I think you need to lose the aprostophe in "Poet's"
Poet's sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Alid
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-25 20:27
You are right
Will make the change
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Sat, 2015-12-26 15:42
Here's another
Together we speak
the language of the bards here
to share our stories
We are actors in our stage,
displaying dedications.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2015-12-27 03:09
Alid
Wonderful
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
alidzain
Sun, 2015-12-27 03:57
Thanks Barbara
Glad you like it.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2016-01-04 00:44
Voices Of Neopoets
Poets gathering,
voices deciphered in words,
friendship blooms anew.
the hearts share a common bond
beween mentors and students.
Alid
Poets sing a song.
Mostly to themselves they sing.
NeoPoet sings.
Wesley
Chorus of poets gather
Beautiful verses they write
Barbara
Feet touched the earth
My mind touches the whole world
Thinking a new way.
Take time for your words to form
Let us touch the new world now.
Ian
Let imagery dance
in the rhythm of the art
where feelings blossom
Alid
as a lotus in sweet ground.
All varied in their colour.
W. H. Snow
thoughts bottled within
take form in novel verses
released from mind space
akin to a new born child
freed from the umbilical
Raj
Winds of thought are strong.
Tornadoes are the poets.
A breeze or a squall.
Winds of thought will blow them far
returning where they'd begun.
W. H. Snow
Voices of poets
Come blend your poetic voice
Japanese poetry.
Write haiku, senyru, tanka
Create whimsical renga.
Rhythm of heart beats
echoes in vivid verses
dark or romantic
stirring liquid emotions
within cockles of the heart
Together we speak
the language of the bards here
to share our stories
We are actors in our stage,
displaying dedications.
Alid
Stimulating minds
poets titillate readers
inviting critique
germination of a thought
leads to metamorphosis
raj (sublime_ocean)
Bright epiphany
clearing fogged reality
metamorphosis
Buddha
like warm thoughts in a cocoon
a butterfly is scripted.
Barbara
The love of writing
It brought me here to your side
I feel no warmth
Here my key pen you should guide
Yet why do I feel so alone.
Ian
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Mon, 2016-01-04 14:55
The butterfly sips
The butterfly sips
nectar in blooming verses
pollinating thoughts
From minds of Neopoets
germinate seeds of Renga
*
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2016-01-04 16:24
Raj
Beautiful as a butterfly.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
raj
Tue, 2016-01-05 13:01
Hi Barbara
Good to know you liked it
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Buddha
Mon, 2015-12-28 23:44
I would like to participate
I would like to participate in this workshop , can I be included?
alidzain
Tue, 2015-12-29 13:48
Buddha
just add in. Anyone is welcome to join.
First a quick intro to the Japanese poetry writing styles here.
Haiku and Senryu follow in the format of 5-7-5 syllables count.
Haiku has no human tone to it and the opposite of Senryu.
Ex. Haiku
The silver moon hid
Quickly behind dark grey skies
Birds south for winter
Ex. Senyru
Early November
Snow is falling in New York
Covers Watertown
If you add 2 couplets to a haiku or senryu in the format of
5-7-5-7-7, it becomes a tanka.
Renga is a series of tanka written by a group of poets.
Now, why don't you post your tanka here so Barbara can add it to the "Voices of Neopoets" poems.
Alid
raj
Tue, 2015-12-29 15:05
Adding my two pence
Stimulating minds
poets titillate readers
inviting critique
germination of a thought
leads to metamorphosis
*
raj (sublime_ocean)
wesley snow
Tue, 2015-12-29 13:11
Raj,
I would use critique and not critic. A critic is a noun and a person. You're inviting "critique".
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
raj
Tue, 2015-12-29 15:06
Thanks Wesley. I have edited
Thanks Wesley. I have edited it.
raj (sublime_ocean)
Buddha
Tue, 2015-12-29 22:13
renga addition
Bright epiphany
clearing fogged reality
metamorphosis
alidzain
Wed, 2015-12-30 03:04
Bro
If you add 2 couplets with the syllable count of 7 each, it will be a tanka.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2016-01-03 21:43
Nice Buddha
Glad you are here I'll add your haiku to the poem
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Wed, 2016-01-06 12:34
Enjambment.
I deliberately gave a go at enjambment in one of these. Is this Kosher or not?
Why do poets write?
To answer questions posed by
them. Thus poets write.
NeoPoet poses them.
Poets answer most.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2016-01-04 00:11
I like it Wesley
Maybe you can tweak the last two lines 7/5 in the Senyru a bit.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Tue, 2016-01-05 15:39
Did I get my syllable count wrong?
Is the last line five syllables?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2016-01-05 18:12
Wesley
Yes it 5 syllables . I not sure about line 2 continuation into the last line with a period. i guess it takes some getting use too seeing a senyru written that way.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Tue, 2016-01-05 19:24
It was an experiment and I don't like it.
I'll try to fix the last line.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2016-01-05 22:36
Experiment
I like experiments. This one is kinda awkward for Japanese poetry.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Wed, 2016-01-06 12:33
I agree.
I will change the line.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2016-03-22 03:47
The end
I've started a new eternal renga "bring in the spring." What spring line for you this year
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Sparrow
Tue, 2016-03-22 05:03
Barbara
The link to Spring didn't work so here is my small donation to your Renga:-
Whispers of chill days
Birds burst into morning songs
Gracing new spring days
An equinox passes
First white then golden flowers
Hope you can use this one, Have a lovely Spring Day, Yours Ian.xx
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti