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LESSON (edit)
He still remembers the exact date
when his family was lost to fate
on a clear cool autumn day
terrorists had their own way
thus teaching him just how to hate
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Workshop:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
scribbler
Thu, 2014-11-06 23:08
Hi gem
Since I'm still a bit lacking in knowing anapest from iambic or any other pest, I kinda based the rhythm on the famous "There was a young girl from Nantucket" limerick. But I Still have a tendency to add false poetic voice to my poetry which is one reason I have a hard time judging my own stuff. I'll leave this as is for a bit as as a bad example and let it gather some more comments. Thank you for your honest feed back.......stan
lovedly
Tue, 2014-11-11 14:03
read it a bit slowly then see them coming
some typo or igno.......
quite or quiet
two different meanings
lose and loose
one can become loose any time
both will lose
many more I have in mind
one at a time
don't jump just sharing
Simon Smythe
Sat, 2014-11-08 05:19
thats a quiz
I read it with tong in cheek as it's unspecific. terrorist, freedom fighter, media lunch.
I hope that's how it was meant
Simon
scribbler
Sun, 2014-11-09 20:09
Hi Simon
It Was meant to be non specific to a minor degree but with a bit of truth mixed in also. I'm pleased to have you come by and interpret it as you please lol........stan (A poem, once posted, belongs more to the reader than the writer)
Simon Smythe
Sun, 2014-11-09 20:15
who taught who
hate
terrorism is a reaction - they don't do it for fun
jus sayin . . . I also appreciate other perspectives
Argue - find out what's right not who's right
scribbler
Mon, 2014-11-10 12:57
terrorism
A great many countries today have committed terrorist acts in the past. I think the definition of modern terrorism is intentionally attacking civilians as opposed to military....
Simon Smythe
Mon, 2014-11-10 16:58
ok . . .
I view it as any person or organisation that uses terror as a weapon, and then I separate them from the people of the country they operate in. They never represent.
scribbler
Mon, 2014-11-10 22:22
That is
why such animals are so hard to defeat, they immerse themselves among the general population.......stan
Ian.T
Tue, 2014-11-11 10:25
Stan
I remember that in the first "London Illustrated News" magazine of the first world war, the Germans were called scoundrels at first then as the war progressed they became all sorts of enemy names.
These mags were saved for a soldier that went to that war, when he returned they were the last thing he wanted to read so they were put in a shed for 70 years until I gave them to a school in South Africa, They used them as a teaching for the older children, I also gave them the complete works of Shakespeare by Charles Knight, that was a good wide range of learning there lol.
The British were the worse soldiers as far as giving ground than any I know, maybe their positive way of fighting was the reason for their success in the world.
We must have taught many countries how to fight, just look at your own troops and how they evolved.
It is a pity that a peace force didn't do so well.
A good write there Stan, and full of truths, Yours Ian.T
PS:- just on my desk here is a photo of my Father in his uniform not very clean and two Ghurkha soldiers from 1914-18 war, somewhere in Egypt or ????.
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
scribbler
Tue, 2014-11-11 12:13
hi Ian
History has shown it Is possible for a terrorist force to become a force for change but too often the change isn't for the better. Thanks for coming by and sharing a bit of your past.........stan
lovedly
Tue, 2014-11-11 14:14
read understand then question
terrorism
[ter-uh-riz-uh m]
Examples
Word Origin
noun
1.
the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes.
2.
the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.
3.
a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government
Simon Smythe
Wed, 2014-11-12 00:32
the cyclops
. . . is always so misunderstood.
Ian.T
Tue, 2015-01-06 19:23
Simon
Always remember that the Cyclops only sees things in two dimensions, Now they reckon when the Big Bang happened there were many dimensions released that we cannot see or even think of , I always disagree that time is the fourth dimension, relative position would be a better bet lol.
Take care out there, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Simon Smythe
Mon, 2015-01-12 19:21
Hi Ian, about those dimensions . . .
Yes the Cyclops sees in 2D but so do we. We have a better spatial awareness but it's only the effect of light on matter that creates the illusion of 3 dimensions. If we could see in 3D we could see through walls. Your dead right about time though, all dimensions have time involved with them. The 4th has no monopoly on that. The tesseract is a 4D cube but we can't imagine what it truly looks like as we only see in 2D though it's beautiful nonetheless. Theoretically there are infinite dimensions.
- My art teacher once said "if time is the 4th dimension then evolution must be the 5th" meaning (I dragged it out of him) that space + time = evolution. I just had to investigate . . . he was good.
scribbler
Wed, 2014-11-12 08:41
lol
yeah, he was just doing what he does
weirdelf
Mon, 2014-12-15 12:06
What can I say
The rhythm of life (limerick)
has a powerful beat.
It can't be fucked with.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Mon, 2014-12-15 12:53
Hello Jess
Yeah, but if it can be knocked out of rhythm you can trust me to do it lol. Good to see you and hope things are going well for you this holiday season. I, for one, am hopeful Santa brings me something I want as opposed to what I deserve ............stan
weirdelf
Mon, 2014-12-15 13:01
It was a tough comp, mate
be sure to congratulate Raj and Gemma.
I wish you a most imbalanced and hedonistic Solstice [grins]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Mon, 2014-12-15 19:21
competition
is almost the same as a contest. Keep an eye open for the beginning of a monthly Neo poetry contest. Should be fun. And with my now limping on Both knees being unbalanced is easy lol.......stan