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LESSON (edit)

He still remembers the exact date
when his family was lost to fate
on a clear cool autumn day
terrorists had their own way
thus teaching him just how to hate

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Since I'm still a bit lacking in knowing anapest from iambic or any other pest, I kinda based the rhythm on the famous "There was a young girl from Nantucket" limerick. But I Still have a tendency to add false poetic voice to my poetry which is one reason I have a hard time judging my own stuff. I'll leave this as is for a bit as as a bad example and let it gather some more comments. Thank you for your honest feed back.......stan

author comment

some typo or igno.......

quite or quiet
two different meanings

lose and loose
one can become loose any time
both will lose

many more I have in mind
one at a time

don't jump just sharing

I read it with tong in cheek as it's unspecific. terrorist, freedom fighter, media lunch.
I hope that's how it was meant

Simon

It Was meant to be non specific to a minor degree but with a bit of truth mixed in also. I'm pleased to have you come by and interpret it as you please lol........stan (A poem, once posted, belongs more to the reader than the writer)

author comment

hate

terrorism is a reaction - they don't do it for fun
jus sayin . . . I also appreciate other perspectives

Argue - find out what's right not who's right

A great many countries today have committed terrorist acts in the past. I think the definition of modern terrorism is intentionally attacking civilians as opposed to military....

author comment

I view it as any person or organisation that uses terror as a weapon, and then I separate them from the people of the country they operate in. They never represent.

why such animals are so hard to defeat, they immerse themselves among the general population.......stan

author comment

I remember that in the first "London Illustrated News" magazine of the first world war, the Germans were called scoundrels at first then as the war progressed they became all sorts of enemy names.
These mags were saved for a soldier that went to that war, when he returned they were the last thing he wanted to read so they were put in a shed for 70 years until I gave them to a school in South Africa, They used them as a teaching for the older children, I also gave them the complete works of Shakespeare by Charles Knight, that was a good wide range of learning there lol.
The British were the worse soldiers as far as giving ground than any I know, maybe their positive way of fighting was the reason for their success in the world.
We must have taught many countries how to fight, just look at your own troops and how they evolved.
It is a pity that a peace force didn't do so well.
A good write there Stan, and full of truths, Yours Ian.T
PS:- just on my desk here is a photo of my Father in his uniform not very clean and two Ghurkha soldiers from 1914-18 war, somewhere in Egypt or ????.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

History has shown it Is possible for a terrorist force to become a force for change but too often the change isn't for the better. Thanks for coming by and sharing a bit of your past.........stan

author comment

terrorism
[ter-uh-riz-uh m]

Examples
Word Origin

noun
1.
the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes.
2.
the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.
3.
a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government

. . . is always so misunderstood.

Always remember that the Cyclops only sees things in two dimensions, Now they reckon when the Big Bang happened there were many dimensions released that we cannot see or even think of , I always disagree that time is the fourth dimension, relative position would be a better bet lol.
Take care out there, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Yes the Cyclops sees in 2D but so do we. We have a better spatial awareness but it's only the effect of light on matter that creates the illusion of 3 dimensions. If we could see in 3D we could see through walls. Your dead right about time though, all dimensions have time involved with them. The 4th has no monopoly on that. The tesseract is a 4D cube but we can't imagine what it truly looks like as we only see in 2D though it's beautiful nonetheless. Theoretically there are infinite dimensions.

- My art teacher once said "if time is the 4th dimension then evolution must be the 5th" meaning (I dragged it out of him) that space + time = evolution. I just had to investigate . . . he was good.

yeah, he was just doing what he does

author comment

The rhythm of life (limerick)
has a powerful beat.
It can't be fucked with.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Yeah, but if it can be knocked out of rhythm you can trust me to do it lol. Good to see you and hope things are going well for you this holiday season. I, for one, am hopeful Santa brings me something I want as opposed to what I deserve ............stan

author comment

be sure to congratulate Raj and Gemma.

I wish you a most imbalanced and hedonistic Solstice [grins]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

is almost the same as a contest. Keep an eye open for the beginning of a monthly Neo poetry contest. Should be fun. And with my now limping on Both knees being unbalanced is easy lol.......stan

author comment
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