Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Yissa_Soured Spices

Dreams of a goodly grandeur,
Coated with succulent flavour,
Meshed upon thefinest of thoughts,
Gorgeously craftedwith silver and gold
To be bubbly made occupy,
Life set tobirth life's lively.
Sneezing into the safe earth,
To the open hands of the caretakers,
Smiles beaming from left to left,
Right, on the moment of merry,
Eyes popping out in glorious awe
Gazing upon the innocent in folded sheets,
It's a festival of Fortune
For days, months and few years,
Life grew, the growth of limpid nature
Crystal clear view the going as good,
No worries, odium or ungood,
Yissa climbs through the stages,
Feets challenging the walking will.
It's grace to be graced when grace still graces,
The tournament of solace, ephemeral
Change proving fitful,
News of woes buzzing like ugly bees,
Leaving the eyes to tear out tears.
No more to take charge unto Yissa,
The ones who brought,bought,
Or forced out into the cold of exeunter.
Minutes, hours, and time ran like athletes,
Competing for gold at world's center stage,
The salt of life now bitters,
No more love to love and pour.
Thus, like an abandoned sacrifice,
Soured right before taste,
She sits on the line of rickety,
No one to care, no one to go-to care,
The joy of yesterpast,
Spiced with soured spices of tomorrow.
Ten, to be stuck in learning bowels,
Engrossed in the affairs of excellence,
Now, living to nurse,treat survival.
Lo, she grows in wilderness jungle,
Laws of the wild feeding her thoughts,
Thrusting into her bowels found pennies,
In conscience's demise, brings consolation.
Enveloped in the letters and fetters of crestfallen,
A bright dream dreamily dislodged.
Fifteen see her as somewhat bigger,
Twenty, in dumbfounding stupor,
Yissa yielding yawningly,unfailingly,
Birthed great,birthing sorrow,
Shackles of fate torturing swiftly,
Abandoned by blood, nook and cranny,
Another criatura,recklessly forgone.
These the preacher heard and wept,
Like a babe wept and wept to naught.
Story of a promising joy, coyed and boycotted.
A new leaf always falls in a season,
'Brand new can you start afresh' preacher proclaims,
Promising to neutralize,nullify the past through Jesus,
To the shock and straight disbelief of the soured,
Giving the Bibleman a terse dismiss,
To think of the offer of hope,Not pennies for her public part,
She hurriedly succumbs to the preacher's master,
And vows to vye for paradise,
To drop every purchase of morbid hate,
Anew,birthed again with gain,
Yissa leapt with undisgraced grace,
To her new abode of victory
Oh,a sharp hit from a four wheeler
The lights dimmer,like a disco bulb
Folks standing aloof, none to hand a help,
For her tattering display madness,
She lay there on the asphalt,
Fizzling into the realm of the unknown,
Preacher hastily sprinting from afar,
Yissa breathes, blows a word of hope,
Belief of now settled,
Hung on her newly found mentals,
Sad was life,happy will be after,
No more soured spices, alas, no more.
Sighing with
the last beam of strength,
Yissa leaves to live.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Thanks Mark ❤️

author comment

I read your poem with interest.

IMHO, there are several stanza breaks that are needed to make this 'way more readable for your audience. I can see about four of them.

I'm looking forward to reading more from you.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'll work on it sir Ray.. thanks ❤️

author comment

to start with, you need spaces between many words. next, read your poem out loud so you can hear where the breaks should be.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks a lot.. I'd work on the mistakes ❤️

author comment

Thanks a lot.. I'd work on the mistakes ❤️

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.