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WHY I DON'T KNOW
She silently sleeps besides me
in fear of my not waking up
so she continues to keep awake
till I snore
and
in the morning hours
continues to sleep
when I don't snore
am I alive she wonders
doc hath said
heart attack
has he gone
then I wake up and clap
Ah a hot cup of tea
she doesn't smile
gosh you are living
and
holds her breath
for a longer while
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Daily routine Is it love or fear tell me anyone Ere it's time up.MY NEW FORMAT RW INSPIRED
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Lavender
Tue, 2021-02-02 20:42
Why I Don't Know
Hello, Lovedly,
Very sensitive poetry - tender, but direct. If I read your last few words correctly, you ask if it is love or fear. As we are only human, maybe both? You offer much to think about here, Lovedly. (Is this Eastern structure, as listed? Intriguing form.)
Thank you,
L
lovedly
Tue, 2021-02-02 21:13
Freestyle I only compose
Western I did a few
Eastern I don't know
My eye's limitation half blind
and
the darkened snowy cold night minus16 that night...
at night dimmed lamplight
she sleeps while I type..
This is not really a reality
but I visit somebody
they both smile at me
and
Lav you may also
do if you wish so
lemme know
(have you realised
a bit of my new syle...
format RW inspired)
Geezer
Wed, 2021-02-03 09:39
Very perceptive...
Yes, I find myself listening in the dark, waking several times through the night, [I sleep badly because of medical issues].
My wife, who sleeps in another room and has heart problems, wakes me as she passes to the bathroom and in the morning, when I can see the light in the kitchen through the cracks in my bedroom door; I feel relieved and can open the door without fear. A very well thought out piece. Nicest I've seen from you in a while. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lovedly
Wed, 2021-02-03 10:47
thank u Gee
your perception is inspirational
so i live still
They say isolation ...loneliness ...are the worst forms of solitude
so what to do
just LIVE with glee
Gee
thanks to thee
feel free