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Weighing Silence

Submitted by ___V___ on Wed, 2023-10-25 00:53

I feel as though my mouth is always sown shut...
or, maybe it's that I lack the capacity to speak.
Either way, I find myself easily overlooked and ignored.
I'm far too tired to change.
I'll just stay silent.

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2023-10-25 06:53

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem, "Weighing Silence." I appreciate the introspective tone and the exploration of feeling overlooked and ignored. Here are some suggestions to further develop your poem:

1. Expand on the feeling of having your mouth sewn shut or lacking the capacity to speak. You could describe the physical sensation or use vivid imagery to convey the weight of silence. This will help the reader better understand your perspective and empathize with your experience.

2. Consider adding specific examples or situations where you have felt overlooked or ignored. This will add depth and make your poem more relatable. By providing concrete instances, you can create a stronger emotional connection with your readers.

3. Explore the reasons behind your tiredness and reluctance to change. Is it due to fear, resignation, or a sense of futility? Elaborating on these feelings will give your poem more complexity and provide insight into your mindset.

4. Experiment with the structure and rhythm of your poem. Currently, it consists of

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Wed, 2023-10-25 11:14

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shows strongly here. I agree with the AI about maybe giving a little bit more reason for the emotional resignation, it never hurts to tell about why. Good start for your first piece. ~ Welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.
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Lamington

Wed, 2023-10-25 11:43

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I think you'll find it's "sewn" not "sown"!

Triskelion

Thu, 2023-10-26 09:24

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..one sure way to improve one's writing is to comment on other's writing. It also helps grow the community. Everyone has something to give.

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

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