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Seren

Jan 22, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The way of water

mirrored mountains gleam
ripples erase reflection
water moves away

— Seren, Jan 22, 2023

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Edit:- I changesd the whole second line.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

3 years 4 months ago

Short and simple

Yet the imagery says so much...well done!

3 years 4 months ago

Dear RoseBlack

Thank you I'm happy you liked it!!

Kind regards Jayne xxx

3 years 4 months ago

Dear Mark

You're right I've updated this one I actually only had the taps to begin with somehow the M capitalised itself somewhere along the lines.

Thanks for the heads up

Kind regards Jayne x

3 years 4 months ago

The Way of Water

Hello, Seren,
This is peaceful and serene, yet has just the right touch of motion. Wonderful.
L

3 years 4 months ago

Dear Lavender

Thank you I am so glad you liked it. Haiku is something I dabble in from time to time

Kind regards Jayne x

3 years 4 months ago

dear Jayne,

excellent haiku! very visual words.

*hugs, Cat

3 years 4 months ago

Dearest Cat

Thank you I'm so happy you liked it.

Hugs & love always Jayne xxxx

3 years 4 months ago

5-7-5

is my count.

*Love, Cat

3 years 4 months ago

Yep that's what I keep

Yep that's what I keep getting too!!!

Love Always Jayne xxx

3 years 4 months ago

Dear Ekaterina

That's a lovely thing to say!! Thanks so much. I'm a blank slate until I put my headphones on. I always listen to instrumental music never songs with lyrics. I find that sometimes being a singer it can influence the process.

I am so happy that you like it

Hugs Jayne xxx

3 years 4 months ago

Haikus are

5 7 5 oe 17 syllables May get it checked by an expert Seren

3 years 4 months ago

Hmmm

Maybe I am counting wrong but I counted it to be 5,7,5.

shrug hmmm anybody got time to check for me?

Thanks Lovely. I will make sure to get it checked by an expert

I'm nearly done with your poem lovely.

Love J xxx

3 years 4 months ago

Seren

you know I can't count
never mind
if I could count then USA POETESS
who took pains at teaching me
SONNETRY
wouldn't have failed

May God bless her soul

Yeah I am anxious enough to know ...the whole truth ...worth ....as a neo poet
Thanks Seren sis

3 years 4 months ago

All good easy enough mistake

All good easy enough mistake to make.

Don't sweat it!!!

Love ya Sis

3 years 3 months ago

Big smile

You got it!!!

I had an epiphany tonight. That second line bothered the heck out of me soooo. Here it is my brain has stopped itching now. Lol

Jayne