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Unbounded Resilience
I stand, a poet with a spirit unbound, Within the depths of a disability's hold.
Though barriers may confine, my words resound.
A prism of strength in each verse I've found,
Colors aflame, my tales to be told.
I stand, a poet with a spirit unbound.
Through whispered fears, my voice is profound,
Amidst the tempest, tenacious and bold.
Though barriers may confine, my words resound.
In every line, a battle profound,
A dance of light where shadows unfold.
I stand, a poet with a spirit unbound.
With ink as my ally, I am crowned,
Defying limits, transcending the mold. Though barriers may confine, my words resound.
Through pain and struggle, my heart's compound,
I seize each moment, stories unfold.
I stand, a poet with a spirit unbound. Though barriers may confine, my words resound
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This is the 1st poem I am writing here for constractive feedback. I hope I can find it cause I find the site a little confusing. Thank you to anyone who reads this and offer is constructive critique.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Triskelion
Sun, 2023-06-18 20:40
Although
I am not well versed in the structure and intricacies of the villanelle, this sure appears to be just that. (Correct me where I am wrong) it seems that S1,5and 6 each need to have a line broken to bring the structure in line. Eg. S1...
I stand, a poet with a spirit unbound, Within the depths of a disability's hold.
Though barriers may confine, my words resound....
Would be
I stand, a poet with a spirit unbound,
Within the depths of a disability's hold.
Though barriers may confine, my words resound
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Pipiabarn_Chet
Sun, 2023-09-10 09:32
Unbound Resilience
Thank you for your constructive and helpful feedback. It is appreciated.
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2023-06-19 11:48
I do believe...
that Triskelion is correct. I found this to be quite good, and as I suspect that you have a bit of difficulty with being mobile and
able, I would guess that you are worried that you will not be able to write much longer. [I hope that is not true]. Nonetheless,
having read your profile, I feel that you have managed quite a good life of writing and will continue to do so. When someone
like you, finds obstacles in their way, they just climb over them, go around or smash through them. Worry not about gaining insight or critique on your work, it will appear here, and if you wish, you may connect with others through private messages.
Your title is good, the pacing equally so.
The theme is one of a universal order and understood by most.
You seem to waver between wondering if you are still good enough
and the thought that what you have to say is profound enough to matter. [It does]
The theme is one I struggle with occasionally.
The ending is one of hopefulness and the logic is good.
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Pipiabarn_Chet
Sun, 2023-09-10 10:01
Unbound Resilience
Thank you for your constructive feedback. You really identified the theme of the poem and provided a well-thought-out review. While I find this site somewhat confusing, I will try not to be overwhelmed by it. There will be no further deterioration in my physical disability so the way my fingers are now is the way they will be in the future. Lucky for that.
Thank you for reading this poem and taking the time to post a response.
author comment