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Tribute to Childhood

Life was easy
Everything came free
Dear childhood
Oh, my dear childhood, how I missed you

Then we didn't know
Toothpaste on the brush
All to the handle
Of course we didn't buy

Now we know
Just a smear on the brush
A bean shape is enough
Yes now we are paying

Then they didn't know
Soap on the head
Soap on the body
Then soap on the sponge

Now they know
Soap on the sponge
Don't worry about the arms
That is enough
Yes now they are buying

Then he didn't know
He wore his shoes
Drag feet on the tar
No worries if it spoils
Yes mama would buy

Now he knows
He wears his shoes
And hit a foot on a stone
"This shoe is costly!"
Yes, now he is buying

Then she didn't know
A handful of detergent
Just to wash a skirt?
The bills were on Papa

Now she knows
A pinch is enough
To wash skirt and blouse
Now bills are on her

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

I get where you are going with this, the apparent waste of materials from the state of immaturity.

I am looking forward to reading more of your writing.

I would suggest that in this piece needs more metaphor in it. this would move it from an interesting poem to a dynamic one.

Welcome, Again!

Ray

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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in this line: Oh, my dear childhood, how I missed you try: how I (miss) you

before you post a poem, be sure you read through it and look for rough spots which you can smooth over. my favorite lines are:

Then she didn't know
A handful of detergent
Just to wash a skirt?
The bills were on Papa

*hugs, Cat

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