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too close to ignore, too distant to love.

loneliness seems twice its mass
in empty office space late at night
when everyone else has vacated,
and time seems more elastic
a metaphysical ballerina following me around
in the mirrored hall of a furniture store.

romance for us is lukewarm tap-water
dripping in-between dainty cracks
of human personal relationships,
pooling in sunless places hard to reach.

both our lives often lived in shared spaces
where a million stranger bodies crammed rectangular,
an entire cosmos between our molecules exists.

infinity of different possibilities,
both happy endings and grievous,
only seen distantly through a telescope.

too close to ignore
yet too distant to love.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Celso,
I am curious to read what others think, and your response. I can only tell you how your poem makes me feel. For me, it is about two people who are destined for one another, yet have not met. The loneliness, references to millions of strangers and possibilities, the comparison to the cosmos. It is spellbinding. I will be back!
Thank you,
L

thank you very much lavender!

author comment

The title one would deduce that the poem was trying to unveil the hidden feeling, thoughts of love
unsaid about a particular woman in a working place. But the poem is quite weaved with embroidery of metaphors, symbolism and exageration.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

yep, quite precise! thanks Jack!

author comment

only echo these two comments made before me. I feel intense loneliness and wondering about possibilities. Who knows what the future holds? The feeling of nothing but toiling at a job, that is unsatisfying and a love-life that is nowhere in sight. I too, wonder where the truth lies? ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

yup, quite the experience of my youth. can't say anything has changed much

author comment

My take…so I’m seeing layers, yes there may be a romantic interest here. someone who shares a physical space but not intimately and maybe there’s that longing and wondering about possibilities and maybe the rest are metaphors or…

Is the romance with the concepts of time, space, and the infinite possibilities. I mean from a perspective of physics on a quantum level, myself and my wife have never physically touched lest our molecules become fused together. That’s an incredibly lonely concept to ponder considering 18 years of cohabitation and two children. Who by the way are the only instances where we did actually “touch”. That is, our cells fused.

Infinity is an odd concept and in it’s presence time is elastic and less significant. Personally I’ve found infinity fairly puzzling since me and my sister discovered fractal mathematics on the cover of a story book, which had the cover of that story book in the cover art of the story book, which I turn had the cover of the story book on that story book, which in turn…ad infinitum.

Think about the concept of love. You all read my stuff. I write about my feelings for my wife often. I express my love in words often and somewhat articulate. I can always say more and I’m not sure that I’ve repeated the same wording of anything and I only speak one language (I want to remedy that). Love is like counting integers if it’s true. You can always count one more number and you can alway give a little more love.

I love you all,
Tim

quite an interesting comment especially the fractal math part. i would admit that this is the first I've encountered this word. i did look it up and the results were quite spellbinding. thanks for the feedback tim!

author comment
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