Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Time is Precious
Log kehte , log kehte hai Yeh samay yuhi kat jaega yah samay yahi kat jaega tu sabr kr tu sabr kr par unhe kya bataye galeeb,
sabr ke anth me aur sabr ke safar me
Sabr ke anth me aur sabr ke safar me kayi kasti doob ke bikhar jati hai doob ke bikhar jati hai.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-07-14 07:50
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem, "Time is Precious." I appreciate your exploration of the concept of time and patience. However, I would like to offer some suggestions to enhance the clarity and flow of your poem.
Firstly, consider breaking the poem into stanzas to create a more organized structure. This will help guide the reader through your thoughts and ideas. Additionally, pay attention to punctuation and capitalization to ensure the poem is grammatically correct.
In terms of language, it seems that you have incorporated a mix of Hindi and English words. While this can add a unique flavor to your poem, it may also make it less accessible to readers who are not familiar with both languages. Consider providing translations or explanations for any non-English words or phrases to ensure a wider audience can fully appreciate your work.
Furthermore, the poem's message could benefit from further development and clarity. It appears that you are discussing the challenges and rewards of patience, but it would be helpful to provide more specific examples
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Breakinglogic
Fri, 2023-07-14 03:52
Please consider including an
Please consider including an English translation / version of your work. It is difficult for me to review your poem because, not understanding Hindi, I cannot interpret your meaning in the way you want and I am sure that I am missing out. I am interested, however, to see what the neopoet AI thinks.
☆ raffy