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Tell Mr. Age

Should age in haste pen down its name,
and fiercely scratch the face with furrows,
should age blend black with white and frame
shining eyes~once blazed, with shadows.

Should it, chain up with heavy strains,
the shoulders once held a Life's load,
and tear forth with teeth, to obtain
what youth once generously showed,

Should it, then tell Mr. Age, please,
I'm not yet ready for its tease.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

My Mother used to tell me that.

I really like the capture of watching the aging process.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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I so much appreciate your kind visit.
My pleasure

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I think human nature won't change. Our hopes are almost the same especially when it comes to getting old.
I'm happy that you found here sth to think about.
Stay safe dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

about aging. Just one little criticism, I think the word you are looking for is [furrows] not farrows. Nonetheless, a great poem. ~ Geez.
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Thank you for the kind visit and for the heads up.
I'm happy to know that it appeals to you.
Stay safe.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Hi, Rula,
I like the tone of your poem - a bit sassy and full of spunk. I especially can empathize with "snatch with teeth." Truly how it feels! Very clever!
Thank you!
L

dear Lavender.
Your words 'sassy' and 'spunk' ? Wow, I like that.
Many thanks dear friend.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Hi Rula,

Personally, old-age sucks...
If you believe that it's all about loss.
However, if you believe it's more about wisdom and spirituality and supporting younger generations...it can be golden!

What is the reference to a 'guerdon' and youth all about?

I've been away from this site for a long time.

I'm back to kick-ass and create...(fill in the blanks)

Ellie

Welcome back. Great to see you. I like that bit about being supportive for the younger generation. It deserves thinking about it.
Mmmm that line about gourden and all, do you have a better alternative? Any suggestions?
Again, nice to hear from you and looking forward to reading some of your work dear

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

don't age with age
you have used it four times
care to replace it
use thesaurus you may

then you will never address
my age

is really intentional Lovedly.
However, I am thankful for your comment. V. Clever.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

age never speaks
just now I learned
a young not aged one
not yet 50
left the world suddenly
happily
no grief only relief
others grieve
lucky he
no pain
nor pill
BUDDHA 's
will

Rula,

Love this theme and your take take on it. Your first stanza was so effortless! Lines 3 and 4 have such nice flow, imagery and diction. I think I'm with Betty regarding your second stanza in that I'm not sure what that guerdon (reward, right?) which youth generously shows is.

raffy

Nice to meet you. Thanks for your kind visit. I had done some edits already when you commented on this piece, but sometimes it takes time to take place and show to the readers.
Please let me know what do you think about the edits. Your thoughts and others' are always welcomed

Thank you so much for your kind visit

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

Rula!
Hi. I think your new edits are really working for this peice! There are a couple new commas which feel errant, however, and give me pause. Your redesign of the first two lines is strong I think! I love the smooth alliteration and the collaboration between haste/fiercely. Also love the collaboration between pen/scratch and the idea of furrows being etched—in that way—by age.

raffy

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