Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Stunning Performance

Like dancing in a mine field
Feet as sensitive
As the hair in your ears
She pirouettes like rain drops
Hips rebounding like billiard balls
Her body in constant motion
As spellbinding as a hummingbird’s wings
Limbs — bending and unbending —
Like a pump jack
Coaxing oil from the ground
She leaps like water from a fountain
And then centers herself
Like a universe’s star
She’s all the colors and every emotion
Like wind through the curtains
A sledgehammer through walls
Her chest heaves
Like a horse’s back running
Her eyes sparkle
Like pears through the leaves
As I watch, I find my heart thrilling
Like a lark briefly trapped
In a house’s eves

Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Are you sure she is not that Lark trapped in a/your house?
Fine language, nice rhythm,cool theme and nice mating (the beginning and ending).
You hit em all, Greg.
And
A fine piece for a social media production.
If this was a performance and by a woman then hmm..er um..where is she? TeeHee
Later,

~Mark~

Having difficulty navigating Neopoet or having trouble with an understanding regarding Neopoet? Look for the Advocate badge and reach out to an Advocate.

haha. thanks for the read and the comments, mark.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.