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STRAGGLERS
The last golden leaves of autumn
sit quivering atop the tree
all having left the limbs on bottom
left them nude for all to see
Indeed it seems that this strip tease
of fall is coming near its end
as tatters drift down on chill breeze
each tapping limbs in northern wind
They garb the ground in garish paint
at least until they fade to dun
beneath the light now growing faint
as shadows stretch from setting sun
I watch this all from my back deck
and think of thinning leaves on tree
then realize that what the heck
if leaves were hair that could be me
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
sueb
Fri, 2012-11-16 18:56
lovely nature poem liked the
lovely nature poem liked the humour at the end
scribbler
Fri, 2012-11-16 20:33
hello
Always good to see a new name both on my page and neopoet. Welcome. I appreciate your taking the time to stop by and comment and I'll get to one of your poems soon....................stan
author commentsueb
Fri, 2012-11-16 21:12
no problem I enjoyed cheers x
no problem I enjoyed cheers x
loved
Sat, 2012-11-17 04:22
well should I say you don't like
old,
which is gold
never mind still I will appear
as yesterday there would have been a tear
when I fell almost to finality
ere fatality
my deafness and the road least taken
were at fault,
as I took the tunnel of darkness
to avoid wrath
there was then the calamity
I wanted you to know
wow, fell flat in the darkness
no one knows,
yet in pain with broken arms
a shattered shin
and a twisted knee
all the pain got better of me,
as fatality
relatives all turned docs to salvage
ere the end!
but I am sure you are glad too to see
my flash across your page once again,
how happy now are you?
Or are you?
I survived that you can see
but my memory
took away my expertise
of writing poetry
extemporary!!!
loved
scribbler
Sat, 2012-11-17 04:28
Hi loved
good to see you are recovering from your fall. Those falls are hell. I fell once a mere 8" and broke an ankle then had a deer stand break from beneath me at approx. 7' and almost broke my neck. Guess we 2 old codgers need to be more careful. Thanks for coming by............stan
author comment