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The Snail Woman

Submitted by Taliesin The Mo... on Mon, 2023-02-20 11:39

There is a special kind of woman out there,
She glitters in the sunlight,
Shimmering like precious metals,
Soft like wet velvet,
Her gentle gaze comes from
two sets of lovely eyes,
Elegant movements that
seem to slow time,
An alluring motion,
A precious armour resting on her body,
Rounded edges spiralling into her,
Hypnotic lines dance as she glides,
A magical spellbinding dance,
Entranced by her beauty,
You move closer…

… Be fearful and cautious,
While your garden snails
may be friendly enough,
The snail woman is not kind,
She is a cruel temptress,
Devouring poor travellers
who mistake her beauty
for anything but a pretty trap,
Her mouth is filled with
a thousand small teeth,
She will leave to bone untouched,
No scab of flesh,
The snail woman consumes
all who cross her beautiful path.
So beware this mythical beauty
Will lead you to a very real end.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Snails can be carnivourous and have thousands of teeth in their mouth called a radula. the idea that something so gentle can devour interested me enough to make this poem about a snail with the face of a woman luring you in to devour you whole.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Contest: 
New Member Contest February 2023
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Seren

Mon, 2023-02-20 11:49

Seren's picture

Welcome to Neopoet! this is an amazing poem, I will never look at snails the same way again!

WOW!!! I am blown away this is brilliant, I think you should enter it in the new member contest for the month as you are a new member, you're eligible.

If you need anything or have questions, please contact any of the advocates or myself as I am Director of Community Outreach.

I look forward to reading more of your poetry this is so good!

Kind Regards Seren

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Taliesin The Mo...

Sun, 2023-02-26 17:59

Taliesin The Modern Bard's picture

Thank you very kindly. I believe i have submitted it to one of the contests to fingers crossed.

Fox

author comment

Obadiah Grey

Mon, 2023-02-20 11:51

Obadiah Grey's picture
Volunteer badge

I think I'd risk it,,,
yeah,
I'd definitely risk it !!

Welcome to Neo.
I believe you'll do just fine here,
enjoyed your piece and thought it interesting!

Obi.

Seren

Mon, 2023-02-20 11:57

Seren's picture

I just spat coke on the keyboard lmao.

hugs x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Geezer

Mon, 2023-02-20 12:12

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

I like everything about this one!
It has mystery and bizarre beauty, along with a certain playfullness
until the Snail Woman shows her true self!
The title is good, the theme is interesting, and the end is great!
Looking forward to seeing more of your posts! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Rosewood Apothecary

Mon, 2023-02-20 19:37

Rosewood Apothecary's picture
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Welcome to neopoet. That is quite odd. What a horrific observation. Around here the garden snail only devour my greens and the like. The slugs are worse. They like hosta leaves a lot.

I don’t want to meet this snail woman. It was plenty fanciful reading about this creation of your boundless imagination.

Welcome again
Tim

Jackweb

Fri, 2023-02-24 22:45

Jackweb's picture

tries to interpret and reveal the hidden meaning of a story. Wow, this is a prominent composition. I now have a new point of view about snails.

Great job!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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