1st gear,

Strange new place,

Dawn of consciousness is here,

Confusion at seeing the first face,

Potent all in experience,

The fourth anniversary of existence,

Lost the proper sequence,

Somewhere inside is deep resistance,

No landmarks and very lost,

Within the depth of memories,

Frozen in fear and layers of permafrost.

2nd gear,

Getting oriented to this sensation,

Accumulation of fear,

Constantly lost in contemplation,

Understanding what it is to be alive,

The event was unsettling to the core,

Unrelenting need to survive,

Even young, I realized what this is was something more.

3rd gear,

Building Shakey foundations,

Adopting more anger than I can bear,

Jumping into freedom fountains,

Straighten out my steering,

Growing to see above the dash,

Demons stare from shadows sneering,

The next year's decisions will be the crash.

4th gear,

Foot to the floor,

Gripped by evil far and near,

Leading to crystal meths front door,

Resist it's invitation,

By the time the thought registered was too late,

Not even a phase of initiation,

My world now clashed with fate.

5th gear,

The most abrupt change,

Wipe away a tear,

The sudden jump felt strange,

This is the highest we can go,

But I always need just another one,

Intoxication gives life a certain glow,

And steals it back making it no longer any fun.

6th gear,

Remember I said I need another,

Cravings coming up on the rear,

I've hurt many and my mother,

Those close and those farther away,

The past never accepts apologies,

But the sky around isn't so grey,

Because it is hard work to address your anomalies.